tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78786015053439311322024-03-14T04:23:56.334-07:00Kim's Journey to LifeKim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.comBlogger982125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-58427086839399352212022-12-13T18:29:00.001-08:002022-12-13T18:29:09.528-08:00Intense pelvic pains - A QCK perspective <p class="MsoNormal">ever since becoming a mom, my menstruation pains have been increasing in intensity, where I sometimes get these really sharp deep lower pelvic pains. The latest one prompted me to look into the point in terms of investigating the mind and body relationship and what of the mind is in fact manifested in and as this particular pain, so that I can assist and support myself to release the pain through releasing and changing the mind point.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">What I found is that the point that is there is this strange ‘suppression of care’, and is part of my overall design of ‘not accepting myself’. My ‘care’ and how I live it is very much in a ‘hidden’ kind of way, as in very mental/emotional. So instead of living care as a self-expression on a physically lived level, it’s all just energy reactions and thoughts in the mind – which isn’t even real care at all, it’s just worry/fear/anxiety.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">So this pain is another pain related to self-acceptance that is pushing me to honor and live and accept myself on a physical level, within living the word ‘care’ for instance in this case – rather than staying ‘introverted’ within emotions and thoughts where I am not in fact living the thing that I think and believe I am living(like ‘care’).</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Here it is thus also important to investigate “why am I not accepting and allowing myself to live the word care on a physical level?” and “why did I decide to only live the emotional/mental version of apparent ‘care’, which isn’t actually care at all?”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">I seem to remember that when I was younger I was quite keen on caring for my little brother or my dolls or other children. I had no trouble expressing my desire to ‘care’, to be a ‘mommy’ and have someone/something to care for. So what was it then that caused me to no longer cherish, accept and express this ability and desire to care that is clearly very much there?</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">What comes up is an experience of awkwardness around how I expressed my care, where I felt like I ‘wasn’t supposed to’ care for my brother as I was not actually his ‘mommy’, even though I wanted to play mommy. I wanted to help out and care for my brother the way my mother cared for him. I don’t necessarily have any memories that come up of being told not to, I just have this ‘awkward’ experience as a reservedness connected with a thought and a belief that “I mustn’t care for my brother because he is HER child, not MINE”, as though I overstepped a boundary somewhere expressing something that I wasn’t righteously allowed to express, based on boundaries like ‘what’s mine’ and ‘what’s not mine’.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">There is an assertiveness within the expression of ‘care’ that I have been holding back throughout most of my life as I’ve believed that it’s only reserved for those who have the ‘authority’ and therefore the ‘permission’ to express and embody that assertiveness. I as a child, as what I’ve been for most of my life, did not sense I had any such ‘authority’, as I was not a ‘mother’ or ‘teacher’ or otherwise had no ‘position of authority or leadership’, and so I believed it was not my place to express any such ‘assertive care’ that I clearly did WANT to express.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">What is interesting is that even now that I do ‘have a child’ and ‘am a mother’, I am still holding back in being assertive and expressing my care as there is still a part of me that feels as though it’s not ‘permitted’. So it seems that I have created a belief/judgment that to express care(in that assertive way) is ‘wrong’ as it’s not ‘my right’ to express. With that also creating a belief that ‘care’ should therefore be an ‘internal’ kind of thing. Something I can only experience on a mental/emotional/feeling level – through for instance experiencing excessive worry/anxiety/fear. There is then also a belief that ‘care’ is defined to be this feeling experience that I feel for instance when I think about my daughter. So care has not been understood to be what it is as a living expression/word in the physical, as it has been defined in and as emotions and feelings which thus have been having an impact on the physical body and at this point are causing physical pain.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">So the solution here then being to redefine care and start living it on an physical level. So what would it be to live care on a physical level? For one thing it would be to not ‘over-specialize’ through excessive thinking – where I am funneling all of my attention and energy onto one person within my constant incessant emotional worrying about my daughter(even when there isn’t necessarily anything ‘wrong’ with her per se). It would be to rather place my attention where it is needed, those in this world who do need more support and care and attention, because there are many. To recognize that my efforts and impact extent much further than my own family and that ‘my world’ isn’t just these few people in my life but extends to all the beings whose lives are touched by my actions.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">That is just what comes up right now as an initial assessment or definition of the word care as a physical expression rather than a feeling/emotion. Although that then again brings up the fear or the resistance/reservation in relation to that point of asserting/expressing care. So that is then the pertinent point to take on with self-forgiveness in order to properly direct an effective living of care – to not remain stuck for the rest of my life in this strange point of fear that would cause me to become ‘introverted’ and turn ‘care’ into a feeling/emotion rather than an expression.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">For this blog I will leave it up to here, just to share the gist of how I work with these kind of physical points that crop up in the form of sudden pains. The self-forgiveness I’ll be walking I can share in a later blog for interest sake.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">I work with identifying the mind/body relationship professionally as a Quantum Change Kinesiologist and walk with individuals as support. This blog is an example of the process that is walked to identify and properly direct a mind/body point, through and from the starting point of for instance a physical pain that’s experienced. Please reach out for perspective and support through <a href="https://www.facebook.com/quantumchangekinesiology">https://www.facebook.com/quantumchangekinesiology</a> or Facebook Messenger.</p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-76537360585012136512022-11-01T14:36:00.001-07:002022-11-01T14:36:12.712-07:00learning to support yourself - what is emotional self-support?<p class="MsoNormal">So self-support, is to be there for myself emotionally. To recognize what I am going through from moment to moment and to ‘allow’ myself to feel and recognize and honor what I am going through. Honor as in to just not suppress or glance over or think and assume I am supposed to be ‘fine’ or have these expectations of myself in terms of how I’m supposed to be experiencing myself within any given situation.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">I have been feeling very ‘unsupported’ lately. ‘Support’ is a word that’s kept coming up in my mind, these backchat that “I don’t have support”, “I am not being supported”, “I feel so unsupported”, etcetera. Chalking it up to the situation and the things that have been happening and/or the things people have been doing, I didn’t ever really stop to look at whether I am living support as a living word and what that would practically entail to live support. Until last night where I was again feeling ‘sooo unsupported’ and ‘at my wit’s end’ and emotionally distraught, I finally decided to look at what living support even means as I realized that if I am feeling like I am lacking in support that must mean I am not living support myself somehow.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">First thing that came up when I looked into “what does it mean to live support”, was to look at how can I be of support to others. That, maybe I am just not being supportive enough for those around me and maybe I just need to be giving as I’d like to receive more. Although to be honest, what occurred to me was, how can I appropriately support others if I don’t really know how to support myself first, so maybe I need to look closer to home first.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">One area where I realized I have not been very supportive with myself is emotionally. I often feel emotionally strained and am often looking for someone to be able to talk to, someone to understand, or am looking towards the people in my life to ‘understand’ what I am going through and offer some form of emotional support, often ending up feeling emotionally exhausted, neglected, rejected and abandoned as I don’t seem to be getting this ‘understanding’ anywhere I look.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Throughout my life in general I have been very bad at even recognizing and being honest with myself about my own emotions and what I am going through or am feeling. I have made it a habit to down-right ignore, suppress and deny many of the emotions and feelings I was going through and experiencing from moment to moment, trying to fit into or live up to some kind of ‘ideal’ or ‘standard’ of what and who I believed I must be. Like I must be more aloof or appear more confident, not have so many insecurities, not have any ‘weaknesses’ (as I believed they were). Basically I must not feel anything lol. But yet, I felt SO MANY THINGS.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">I often did feel moments of shame or embarrassment as a result of suppressing, hiding and denying my feelings, when they did manage to seep through the cracks somehow. Another message I was sending myself that apparently “I am not supposed to feel these things that I am feeling”. So long story short, my emotions and feelings have always been a blind spot for me because I have so conditioned myself to ignore, suppress and deny them. Leaving me now to oftentimes feel like I am ‘drowning’ in times when my external reality gets a bit challenging, as I have never learned how to be there for myself emotionally. So I will just throw myself off the deep end or allow myself to work myself up emotionally until I feel completely exhausted, stressed out, lost and overwhelmed and just don’t know what to do with myself anymore because I am struggling so much with my own emotional state.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">I’ve never learned to recognize what I’m actually going through in moments and how to give myself space to go through and feel the things I am genuinely feeling, so the stress and ‘emotional exhaustion’ I end up experiencing is really just a consequence of my suppression and neglect of what is really going on within myself. A consequence of not being there for myself as ‘emotional support’ from moment to moment. So emotional support is basically just saying “hey, it’s ok what you’re feeling right now” to myself. Hold myself, embrace myself, hold space for myself and whatever I am feeling and going through – not any of it is bad.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">There’s a lot more to go into as to why I developed this particular personality design or mind system of suppressing/denying my emotions and feelings. Why I developed this strange belief and decision that me feeling and experiencing anything by way of emotions and feelings is apparently ‘bad’ and cannot be accepted. But that’s something to go into in another post…</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Thank you for reading.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">If you enjoyed this post and you’re interested in following more of my perspectives, check out The Color Readings Patreon! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/thecolorreadings">https://www.patreon.com/thecolorreadings</a></p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-89401506723296448332022-06-30T07:42:00.001-07:002022-06-30T07:42:31.401-07:00journeys with the physical I've been using my physical body mostly as cross reference for points in walking in terms of self-change. I've found that my mind will mostly send me all over the place and I end up trying to change multiple points at once but then ending up more stressed and confused than settled. So since the body is on the other hand quite clear in its message of what to look at and work on, that's what I've been applying my focus on. This so as to make change real, or as real as possible, since the body will give me feedback of whether I've actually changed a point - and to avoid ending up at a place where I'm more feeling like I'm changing and believing I'm changing because "look at me I'm taking on all these points" but when it comes to the nitty gritty, the real-time living, there's not actually that much change.<div><br></div><div>The point, or one of the points, I've been working with and that comes up from time to time, is a discomfort in my lower abdomen, a cramping and tightening in that area. So anytime this sensation comes up I will have a look in the moment at the thoughts/backchat/emotions/personality designs I've been accessing to cause the physical experience. Sometimes if it's not immediately clear to me I will use my QCK procedure and tools to find the relevant points. When it came up earlier today as I was driving on my way to work I saw it being related to having, experiencing and going into a sense of failure. Thoughts and beliefs I've been having in the back of my mind of 'failing my family' and 'failing my child' because I can't be with her anymore as much as I'd like to since I had to start working again recently. </div><div><br></div><div>Here I'm dealing with suppressed experiences and thoughts since on a surface level I am "fine" or rather I feel quite alright and unbothered mentally/emotionally as I go about my day or in this case specifically as I'm driving on my way to work. In fact, I've been experiencing myself, on a conscious level, more positively with regards to going to work - as in, feeling a sense of purpose, motivation, validation, drive and recognition as I am rejoining the workforce, learning new things, making new connections and relationships and getting feedback on my performances. But, as my body is clearly showing, there's more going on. In fact, digging and going a bit deeper, there's mostly deeply emotional issues and problems running in the background. Where I feel, dare I say, quite the opposite of whatever positive experiences I've been having around going back to work. And the body's basically saying with the internal organ pains, "Oi, look at what the emotions you're suppressing are doing to you. You need to get honest with this stuff in terms of how you're really feeling and what you're actually going through. Don't just stuff it away and ignore it just because maybe you feel powerless or aren't seeing solutions to your problems."</div><div><br></div><div>So for me, the sense of failure is an emotional issue that tends to affect me and that I tend to suppress, exactly because I've never seen a solution and have never known how to handle and direct it effectively - so I suppress it and unfortunately then turn it into a much bigger issue through how these suppressed emotions affect the inner organs. So now in these moments when the physical pains come up, this means I'm having to reverse engineer to get to what is actually going on and change. This through for instance understanding and investigating, using the physical point as cross-reference and feedback, everything that's going on in my mind specifically related to this 'feeling a sense of failure' point. </div><div><br></div><div>This was one of those instances where I didn't immediately clearly see anything and so used QCK to support me, which lead me to recognize a deep emotional sadness/despair along with beliefs that I am failing my family/child by being at work instead of at home. Not just that, but furthermore this is connected with an entire personality design(as in an energetic state and way of thinking that I have become throughout my life) of feeling disappointed with myself and perceiving myself to be a disappointment, as well as a failure to grasp how to properly live the word "care". Meaning, how to not live this word based on emotions and feelings but live it on a physical level in terms of everyday and moment-to-moment actions. Which actions are in place in other words for me to live care - care for myself and others. So, my emotionally charged relationship with the word care is also affecting my inner organs and in particular this area where I get cramps sometimes in my lower abdomen.</div><div><br></div><div>Care is about being proactive, giving yourself what you need when you need it - responding to yourself, your 'impulses' so to speak, your sensitivities, as in your needs, your body's needs, when you need it. Because you care, which means you're not going to wait or go and think about it first or go into fear/doubts/thoughts about what needs to be done. It's being assertive about taking action and doing the things that make sense in providing support and providing for needs. In my case I have a lot of thoughts/reasons/justifications as to why I can't properly take care of myself, and as a consequence, others. Thoughts about other people for instance, placing others before myself, feelings, desires, etcetera - are all my "reasons" why I'm not just doing what needs to be done basically in terms of living the word care. All the ways in which I'm failing myself as I'm not properly caring and providing for myself. So it looks like this physical point is very much about living the word care if I want to correct it.</div><div><br></div><div>To be continued...</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-2320668781338122772022-02-24T14:06:00.001-08:002022-02-25T06:29:28.580-08:00Give me reassurance!<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeFWXcWgUB267ZRxA2let28j1SfJeoQQ721iy1I9d6NH0Zf30tzroDMkQ8bwzxbosC0ipYAOZ4lAsr4V0U95kOr5sVIXp18aZduKP03DOZ2IivcUdvfGLhkFmTZru3ZJXF8yTNcIhot9QS/s1600/1645741129356496-0.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
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</div><br></div><div><br></div>I look for a sense or feeling of reassurance from my environment, this is what I've noticed. Like, I am on a pretty much constant bases generating lots and lots of anxiety and stess and fear energy in myself in relation to thoughts like "am I doing this right?", "What if I am failing at this?!", "What if I am busy doing it wrong?!", "What if I don't know what I am doing?!", "Are people still going to accept me if I do this wrong?", "I have to make sure that I do this right", "have to make sure I don't make any mistakes", "what if I screw up?!", "I don't want to face any consequences!", " What if all this goes wrong in my life?!", "What if I'm a failure?!"... You get the gist lol.<div><br></div><div>Looots of fear of "failure" and because of this, I'm also constantly subconsciously looking for a sense of reassurance as in a sense of relief from all this stress and anxiety around failing. Basically looking for something or someone to let me know and tell me, "hey Kim, it's OK. You're OK. You can relax. You're not doing anything wrong, you're fine." Even from my baby, from Marie, I'm looking for that sense of reassurance. These fears and anxieties are always in the background. Like I'm looking for some feedback, some confirmation from her that I'm an OK parent, that I'm doing well, that I'm not failing in this 'new job' of being a parent. </div><div><br></div><div>And the reason I've been looking at this point in me is because I've been looking into living the principle of giving as I would like to receive - a principle I want to live as a parent - but I noticed that the only time I'm able to even see what Marie needs from me from moment to moment is when I am NOT existing in any state of anxiety within myself. When I'm existing in a point of self-fulfilment, as in 'I want, need or require nothing from my environment. I am fulfilled and complete.', then Marie comes more into focus and I see very clearly what she is asking for from me from moment to moment. Only when I am fulfilled and complete within myself and don't exist in want/need/desire, am I able to give unconditionally to another what I'd like to receive if I were in their shoes. </div><div><br></div><div>So that motivated me to look at were and how am I existing in want/need/desire in relation to my environment - in relation to Marie specifically in this example. That question then opened up how indeed, I am CONSTANTLY in that state of "I want to feel reassured", even in relation to Marie, and so I'm never quite 'in tune with'or rather just seeing who she is and what she actually needs. Sure, I run around frantically often trying to satisfy her needs(or whatever needs I perceive in her) and end up feeling frazzled, exhausted and even more anxious, but don't actually ever give her what SHE really needs from me. I only give her what I think she might possibly want or need, yet leave her feeling unrecognized, unheard and unsupported in who she is and what her real needs are. </div><div><br></div><div>So in every moment it's now my task to ask myself whether I'm wanting/needing/requiring anything from her and to support myself to snap out of it and stabilize myself, through using the Desteni tools of self-forgiveness and self-correction.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-22610322311944185802021-07-11T19:51:00.006-07:002021-07-11T19:51:46.065-07:00Sharing is caring<p> Ok so this has been a bit of a 'tough delivery' lol, in terms of me starting to write and share myself again. And the thing is that I don't like to share when there is something 'off' about my starting point - when I get that wrought and disturbing kind of sense that I'm doing it for the wrong reasons or that there is just some point there that maybe I can't quite put my finger on but that's showing me that ah, ok it's not my 'pure' expression so to speak. I'm trying to maneuver or manipulate or control a particular point in my reality. But then the problem sort of becomes that I continue holding back, being 'shy' about my expression, to not share, not write, not express, and I become more and more reclusive and isolated - which is obviously also not a solution.</p><p>And as it turns out, I seem to have quite a bit of such 'dishonesties', as in hidden misalignments in my starting point, when it comes to my expression. So my 'solution' has been that 'ok well I just won't express myself at all anymore then'. Like 'if I don't do anything, I can't do any harm either'. But then I only end up hiding the points rather than really addressing and resolving or directing them. Because, the solution to the problem of 'expression', is also 'expression'. Even though I may not yet be aware of what all those misaligned points are, what the dishonesties are, who I am and how and why I am within my expression, that shouldn't necessarily keep me from expressing myself. </p><p>It's more like, Ok I've been hiding myself. Hiding the 'truth' of myself so to speak. The fact that yes, I'm not 'pure' and I got a lot of shit going on. A lot of unresolved, undirected points that I haven't been changing - also interestingly due to not expressing them, not being honest and open and real about them with the world as me. Because that has in a way been my process, to I guess come out of hiding and accept myself and allow myself to express and share and be open about who I am and basically what all is there within me that I've been convincing myself I must hide and judge and stuff away, far away from anyone else to see.</p><p>I mean it's something I used to enjoy about process in fact, the 'radical honesty' within sharing openly all that is there, that is generally hidden. To allow it all to finally 'breathe', to no longer judge and to be like 'yes it's all nasty shit and the tendency is to want to hide and cover it up and keep up some kind of appearance but look it's what's here, it's reality, and that's OK in some way. At least it's Ok to look at it and be open and honest about it because it's things that we can change as long as there is that honesty and investigation and doing what it takes to change'. One of those things being writing and sharing about that process. Or at least for me it begins with writing, as a way of saying 'Ok well I know there's a lot of 'hidden' stuff and there's a lot of programming there to keep the hiding in place, but I'm at least taking steps in the direction of changing that. I'm at least standing up and doing what makes sense to me, rather than keeping the truth hidden just cause it seems that that's just what you do in this world'.</p><p>So seems I got a little 'off course' at some point, going more into hiding than openness and sharing. More into excuses, justifications, beliefs around why openness and sharing is bad and hiding is good. Why 'brutal' or radical honesty is to be avoided and why one must rather choose to be hidden behind layers and layers of fear basically - all the while making the truth of oneself more and more complicated, until honesty seems an impossible thing.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><a href="http://www.desteni.org">www.desteni.org</a></p><p><a href="http://www.desteniiprocess.com">www.desteniiprocess.com</a></p><p><a href="http://www.eqafe.com">www.eqafe.com</a></p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-69642520546132201432021-05-27T16:55:00.004-07:002021-05-27T16:55:48.076-07:00 The Words of Bernard Poolman - by Kim amourette<p class="MsoNormal"> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
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<![endif]--> This blog post is kind of in response to, or to add to, some
discussion that’s opened up recently involving essentially ‘the words of
Bernard Poolman’ and how there is such a trap of how his words can be used as a
sort of gospel, where they are basically not questioned or verified according
to one’s own living and experience but more used in the context of, ‘well he
said that so it must be how it is’.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And I feel called upon to share my perspective because this
is a trap I myself have fallen into to be sure. And in a way, from my
perspective, given the way us humans are programmed on a mind-level, it’s very
unlikely for any person to not fall into this trap, unless you’ve already
prepared yourself throughout your lifetime to have a very strong sense of who
you are when it comes to information, authority, the world system and your
environment in general. I personally have not had that background. I’ve been extremely
susceptible to influence, suggestion, instruction and just overall brainwashing
lol, and it’s taken me years of walking my process to even arrive at this
realization. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’d even say that much of my process has been about taking
the things Bernard has said to me or statements he’s made in general, which
I’ve been using as guidelines on ‘how to properly walk my process’, and finding
out who I actually am within it. Learning how to be my own person and see
things through my own eyes. Learning how to not religiously follow
beliefs/statements/ideas, but becoming my own tool or means of assessment and
discernment of what’s actually real.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">There’s been a few things that stood out for me in terms of
what he’s told me which, looking back on it now, actually just ended up
creating more confusion and conflict in me than anything. A prime example is
when on one occasion he said to me, “you just need to accept yourself”, but
then in another instance told me that “you’ll be rejected by life if you
dishonor yourself” lol. I just think that’s particularly funny, reading that
again, because that one did such a number on my brain that I often think that
probably if he had just not said anything to me I would have had a better shot
of figuring this stuff out on my own sooner. Or
rather, what he said in a way only pushed me, through the conflict it created
in me, to realize that what he said doesn’t actually matter. Whether that was
intentional from his side or not, I’ll never be able to verify, and in a way I’m
thankful for the conflict because yes it did and still does continue to just
push me to that point of saying, “you know what, fuck this lol. Screw following
this information and trying to live by it and trying to be good and do the
right thing. I’m here and I define me, not this stuff that I’ve been holding on
to in my head cause it’s what I’ve been told at some point or another.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Because at the end of the day I’ve found that what matters
is just that I live and apply the tools, that I learn to trust myself and
through testing and trying things out, learn for myself what life is all about.
I have to admit that I had such a ‘religion-oriented’ mind-set that I
automatically created a doctrine out of things that were said. I wasn’t even
aware that I was doing it, and I have never consciously been ‘religious’. This
is just unconscious mind preprogramming related to cultural/genetic history
having unconscious influences in the way that I was brought up as well. I mean,
no one can show you this stuff, in terms of how your mind picks things up and
interprets information according to unconscious structures that have formed and I also don’t yet see all of it. But what I do see is
from what I’ve been able to realize for myself, not because of what I’ve been
told.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That’s just my personal experience when it comes to ‘the things
Bernard Poolman said’ and how I’ve realized that, like with anything, it must
be questioned and referenced to your own self-developed understanding of things
and shouldn’t be used as a gospel to live by. The message has always been
clear: sort yourself out by walking your process, using the tools, become your
own master and leader and you’ll see for yourself what’s real and what’s not. </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.desteni.org">www.desteni.org</a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.desteniiprocess.com">www.desteniiprocess.com</a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.eqafe.com">www.eqafe.com </a><br /></p>
Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-18031692221236018662021-04-21T19:03:00.003-07:002021-04-21T19:03:41.020-07:00Understanding the Baby's Kicking - Adventures with QCK<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjug_7mgXPKHOO0O7BVc7CYX2rrjrJBHBC6a6-X4nE_PMsByTLu3rMGIOl4L6-MK_TCaFFFwluNJNF2UY__qgKCMqhoAd96QYrSzB0HlmCNsnAiSUNrQhyphenhyphen8-Od1goz1YK46VCHBeAgCJuok/s480/unborn-baby-womb-footage-009947748_iconl.webp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="268" data-original-width="480" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjug_7mgXPKHOO0O7BVc7CYX2rrjrJBHBC6a6-X4nE_PMsByTLu3rMGIOl4L6-MK_TCaFFFwluNJNF2UY__qgKCMqhoAd96QYrSzB0HlmCNsnAiSUNrQhyphenhyphen8-Od1goz1YK46VCHBeAgCJuok/w520-h291/unborn-baby-womb-footage-009947748_iconl.webp" width="520" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p>This is another sort of 'eye-opening' point I've wanted to share with regards to my experiences so far during pregnancy, specifically working with QCK(Quantum Change Kinesiology). I mean working with QCK, as well as just having much experience with investigating/exploring the mind(see <a href="http://www.desteni.org">Desteni</a>/<a href="http://www.desteniiprocess.com">DIP</a>), I've learned to recognize and see the physical body and all possible physical sensations/experiences/pains/conditions/expressions as a sort of feedback 'tool' or 'machine' that appropriately shows you your 'real self' so to speak. Or it at least just shows you your deeper programming that you're not aware of as you go about your day/life on a purely conscious level. It's fascinating stuff.</p><p>But there was one thing I wasn't expecting as I'm working in this realm of 'body/mind communication' and that is that a developing baby/fetus in the womb also plays a role in this 'feedback machine' that is the physical body. Something that specifically becomes apparent when the baby starts 'kicking', or rather when you start feeling the kicks. Yes, I had my first moments of awe and endearment and the "omg, he/she is kicking!". You know, that new parent milestone that you get all excited about cause it reminds you of 'the miracle of life' growing inside you. Although, it's only when I started looking into these kicks and communicating with the baby every time I felt one that I realized they're not 'random', and certainly not all 'miracle of life' related. In fact, a lot of the time it's the baby communicating to me about what I am participating in in my mind. Basically him/her saying "stop it!", or "you need to look at this".</p><p>But the most fascinating of all is his/her participation when I am busy looking at/working through a point, not to mention when I am working with someone else in a QCK session. The baby will actually 'hold' the information of the point I'm working with, be it my own or that of a client, and will sometimes 'nudge' me in the right direction. That maybe sounds a bit technical or confusing, but yes lol. I am not entirely sure how it works or why this kind of 'support' is coming from the baby to be honest. This is about as far as my understanding has taken me. And this is all a very new kind of journey for me as well so I am also learning about all this as I go, through experience and practice and observation.</p><p>To maybe give you a practical example of how this goes down. Say I'm in a session with someone and we're tapping into/working with a particular subconscious personality design that's hiding on deeper layers of an issue they're dealing with. This personality being on a subconscious level alone requires me to see the information in myself first, since it is very likely that the person won't be aware of the subconscious personality if I tell them, "oh you are living a personality design of being rigid(just for example sake)". They'll go, "right, ehm, I guess?" I as the practitioner have to be the one to be able to show them exactly how and where and in what way they're living this thing, in a way that allows them to recognize it and relate to it within themselves and go, "ah yes, I see how I do this". And this can be tricky sometimes because basically now I need to be fully open and receptive to see/receive/tune into/experience what's on that very specific subconscious level of this person's mind, as well as be able to specify and articulate what it is that I'm seeing. This is all 'resonant work' and not necessarily something I'll be going into right now though (but, more than willing to answer questions in the comments section!).</p><p>So sometimes I'll get a little bit 'stuck', as in there just won't be anything coming up or I just don't immediately see anything. Usually that means that it is actually there and I am actually seeing it, I just don't know that I'm seeing it lol, because the point is so nuanced or subtle. Those are the times when the baby will give me a 'kick', or will shift positions or will even go into a 'pain' or 'discomfort' experience, basically to give me a 'physical reference point' for me to be able to better access the information. Physical reference point, as in it's just easier for me to 'draw'/read information from a tangible physical point, in terms of reading/accessing the mind/body relationship, than reading it 'out of thin air' so to speak. This 'reading the mind/body relationship' is a big part of the QCK work that I do, where I start from a physical point and then open that up into the resonant layers, or 'mind programming', existent within and behind it. So here the baby will support by positioning and placing itself ever so specifically. Almost physically embodying the point from the client for me so I can have a better 'feel' for it physically and am able to read it better. And yeah, it's as 'fantastical' as it sounds lol. To have my baby helping me out as I'm helping others, and to just have the baby's communication come through so clearly within all the different kicks, turns, positions and movements that it makes in there. And so the wild ride of pregnancy continues lol.</p><p>This is just me sharing what my experience has been so far with being pregnant and working with resonance through QCK. Sharing about the things that have kind of 'blown me out of the water' personally, as it's just things I never thought were possible. Not like I've ever read about women communicating with their baby through its kicking and movements in the womb. It is a 'direct' form of communication with reality that is very new to me, and as far as I know, to the world(or at least humanity). Something that's actually always been here, yet never realized or practiced because our minds have always gotten in the way. That's why I suppose you could say that QCK is about supporting in that process of deconstructing the mind. A tool of assistance and support for humanity to get to who we really are. Direct seeing, direct communication, and awareness of everything that is here. But we first have to walk our process through our own mind.</p><p>Investigate tools of support at <a href="http://www.desteni.org">Desteni</a>, <a href="http://www.desteniiprocess.com">Desteni 'I' Process</a>, <a href="https://lite.desteniiprocess.com/">DIP Lite</a>, <a href="http://www.eqafe.com">Eqafe</a>, and at <a href="http://www.spaceofgrace.net">Space of Grace</a>, where you can find me with <a href="https://spaceofgrace.net/product/qck-session/">QCK</a> along with many other practitioners who each have their own modality of support and who work with the same principle of facilitating your process through the mind and "into" who you really are. </p><p> Contact me at Space of Grace, via <a href="https://www.facebook.com/kim.amourette">Facebook </a>or here in the comment section if you're curious to learn more about QCK and what I do exactly.<br /></p><p><br /></p><p>Kim<br /></p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-64436931009516499512021-04-06T19:51:00.000-07:002021-04-06T19:51:01.281-07:00Mind Development in the Developing Fetus: A QCK Adventure<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK1N3MhA0Tl40irYO1ox0IXYhIKHOIdxDGut4OIlMmGLYQITKp5cP0iZ2-JHpmOVnexB_vmD8YPEuGWofYkm_BNvsRiT_uEzz5WF5R2PFW2RlifluzZGhK9a0Dkeok9PzOYPBSIaGr7rSz/s1280/sunrise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK1N3MhA0Tl40irYO1ox0IXYhIKHOIdxDGut4OIlMmGLYQITKp5cP0iZ2-JHpmOVnexB_vmD8YPEuGWofYkm_BNvsRiT_uEzz5WF5R2PFW2RlifluzZGhK9a0Dkeok9PzOYPBSIaGr7rSz/w556-h313/sunrise.jpg" width="556" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p> </p><p>This one's another exciting story, albeit maybe also a bit bizarre, that I've been wanting to share about my 'adventures' with QCK, resonance and the developing baby fetus in my belly.Why I'm saying this story might be a bit bizarre is because it's not like one you'll have heard anywhere before. It covers topics that may be a bit hard to grasp at first, but they're fascinating nonetheless. Topics such as... gosh, where do I begin?! lol To be honest I am also learning about all this stuff as I go. It entails as much my process, as well as the baby's and the process I'm walking with QCK, in terms of investigating the relationship between the mind and the body (or, as I've more specifically described before, how I work with 'resonance'). Again not going to go into the specifics of what 'resonance' is, but I am more than happy to answer questions in the comment section!</p><p>Anyways! Let's just get into it. A little while ago, without any clear reason or cause, I suddenly started experiencing abdominal cramps. At first, obviously thinking nothing of it cause when you're pregnant you experience cramps for numerous reasons; constipation, bloatedness, being gassy, the uterus expanding and what not. Then I felt my body going into a state of 'panic', like 'Ok, something's happening that is not normal!' Kind of like a red alarm going off inside. Physically it felt like I was going to have my period, that sinking feeling in the pelvis that feels like things are going to be pushed out and released. The cramping worsened, I started to feel extremely faint like I was going to pass out and things no longer felt like 'they were going to pass', like I just need to 'wait it out'. They felt as though my body was in a state of emergency and I may be needing a trip to the hospital.</p><p>While all these physical symptoms were going on, I was doing what I usually do whenever I'm experiencing any pain, discomfort or strange experience in my belly. I check the resonance, or in other words I check the link between the physical and the mind. And here I have a few check points that I go through to determine whether it is me or the baby and then what the actual point is that's causing the physical discomfort. And a point that came through very strongly in the baby's resonance was that he 'wanted out!'. That, with looking at all of what I have been going through in my personal life, the emotions that's been bringing up, and looking at what that will mean in terms of the environment he's going to be born into, he's opting to rather evacuate right now. And I can't say that I could disagree with how he was seeing things. That, sure yes I was 'busy changing' and 'working on' all the issues he was seeing, but unfortunately for me, 'just not fast enough'. That there is such a point as 'too late'. His decision was made, he's not waiting for me any longer. </p><p>So as I was mentally preparing myself for a possible miscarriage, I thought 'Ok, well maybe this isn't necessarily how it needs to be, and maybe there's a point here that I can address with QCK', because I've learned by now that you wouldn't believe how many experiences and ways of seeing things - that, sure, feel very 'real' in the moment - are actually systems in the mind and can be 'deprogrammed'. You're just not aware of the mechanics behind 'why' you feel and see things the way you do and so will accept it as 'real'. With a QCK session those mechanics become exposed and so you're able to more easily let things go or work through them.<br /></p><p>Now, a session goes as follows: I will do a lot of 'checking' and cross-referencing points. Like in this case I checked obviously, 'Ok, is this actually a mind-system the baby and me is accessing or is this a real thing?' This cross-referenced as 'yes, it's a mind-system'. Now the interesting thing as well as we go through a session, with each check-point so to speak, is that there is a 'release' that happens. Some of the tension that's been built up emotionally/mentally within the mind-system will relax and release each time a particular layer of it has been identified and realized. For instance, just with realizing that 'Ok, this isn't actually real, it's a mind-system that I can address, direct and change', already removed some of the stress or sense of 'urgency' of the overall experience. The next checkpoint is then of course 'well, what mind-system are we dealing with here?'</p><p>Here is where I work with a lot of information that I've developed over the years with <a href="https://www.facebook.com/andrea.rossouw">Andrea Rossouw,</a> and is something we're able to use as our blueprint in navigating the mind in a session. It's a way of organizing the jumble of whatever we are going through inside into comprehensible terminology that allows us to see clearly and work with the different components of how the mind operates (and makes things seem so 'real' when they're actually not). I suppose you could say it helps 'place things into perspective'. </p><p>The mind-system that cross-referenced here was a personality design of being 'grim'. Grim as in, perceiving and seeing the world in a particularly gloomy, dark, pessimistic and overall negative way. So in short, the baby was actually accessing this personality design, which he'd copied from me, and was deciding that he 'wanted out' because - being in this personality design - he could not see any potential, possibility, hope or opportunity for things to get better, to change and be good. He was seeing his world in the worst possible way and so his conclusion or 'solution' was the worst possible option. So realizing this as a personality design wasn't just a learning-lesson for the baby, but also for me, since I'd been wholeheartedly agreeing with everything he was seeing and deciding throughout the whole thing. I too was living this personality design of being quite grim in how I tend to perceive things. Assuming the worst, rather than creating and allowing space for things to turn out good. This was another moment of 'release', with realizing 'oooh ok, so I'm not actually seeing reality but more an interpretation or perception of it based on some deeper programming that's causing me to see the worst in things'.</p><p>From here the session went into this 'deeper programming', which lasted all throughout the evening, as well as the next few days to really get to the bottom of the thing. As in, where does this one 'perception/interpretation' of reality, this one pattern and tendency of being 'grim', originate from? Throughout it all, using my body, and whatever cramps/discomforts were still there, as a cross-reference and a guide to let me know there's still more to look at. Until the last layer had been uncovered and the body felt settled, present and comfortable. In these kind of sessions we really venture into places that have been 'locked away' in different layers of our awareness, so yes it can take a while to open up all of those 'locked doors' as we sink deeper and deeper into ourselves. This one took me on a ride, not just through my own sub- and unconscious mind, but also my partner's - the baby's father - which was all forming part of the baby's already programmed 'mindset'.</p><p>Suffice to say that pregnancy has definitely had it's 'surprises' for me so far, in terms of opening up so much more for me in my ability to work with QCK. It hasn't all just been due to being pregnant, I've also just been working with myself a lot more, working with <a href="https://www.facebook.com/joekou">Joe Kou</a> as a life coach, and just cranking my own process up a notch. All that, and having this 'extra perspective' through the baby has added to developing an extreme depth, compared to what I was working with before, as I work with myself and other people in QCK sessions. Absolutely fascinating stuff. So that's all for this 'adventure'. If this is all wild and bizarre to you, that's normal lol. We're not used to working on this level, with resonance, mind programming and the mind and body relationship. This all only opened up and started for me because I've been walking with <a href="http://www.desteni.org">Desteni</a> and have been walking my <a href="http://www.desteniiprocess.com">Desteni 'I' Process</a> for such a long time. In a way seeing the 'fabric of the universe' as resonance.</p><p>I do QCK sessions, not for the faint-hearted, where I take you down deep into your programming and where we have a look at what's at the origin of whatever you're dealing with. Come check me out at <a href="https://spaceofgrace.net/product/qck-session/">Space of Grace</a>, or find me on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/kim.amourette/">Facebook</a>. I invite and welcome conversations and questions to better understand all this stuff. Or any inquiries about QCK sessions, resonance, mind-body relationship or mind programming, don't hesitate to send my way.<br /></p><p><br /></p><p> </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-30769237910768297172021-02-28T23:15:00.003-08:002021-02-28T23:19:25.441-08:00Working through my Resonant Design with QCK<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIdn6iISvMABeJ3um4OdGXtI5-KheE2R8ipR-eFOmhmtkKE5OuY2Q3nKoqTZ2GZgFNNQya4pbIOsCKaS51l4PwrjX6hUUoOjnsJUQXtvzx_zqMvZoBfQi46I4wrfdeuCBJf9EENvr6iHiy/s620/Follow-These-5-Steps-to-Find-Your-Inspiration-When-You-Feel-Lost.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="380" data-original-width="620" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIdn6iISvMABeJ3um4OdGXtI5-KheE2R8ipR-eFOmhmtkKE5OuY2Q3nKoqTZ2GZgFNNQya4pbIOsCKaS51l4PwrjX6hUUoOjnsJUQXtvzx_zqMvZoBfQi46I4wrfdeuCBJf9EENvr6iHiy/w491-h301/Follow-These-5-Steps-to-Find-Your-Inspiration-When-You-Feel-Lost.png" width="491" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>One thing I've found QCK sessions, or my work with 'resonance', are useful for is FEAR. What I mean by that is that personally I'd say I am a very 'fearful' person, and I have never found a very effective way of dealing with those fears. I've tried many things growing up with all these intense experiences of anxiety, insecurity and nervousness that I'd so often go through, not to mention the thoughts accompanying those experiences! Oh the thoughts! lol Fear can really send your thoughts into a tailspin, and it's a rough ride when you're not able to assess what is purely your mind's imagination and what is reality. And that rabbit hole goes deep too. Meaning, the levels on which fear can have a hold on your perception of reality. It's just extensive. And so is the process you have to walk to sift through all those levels and ultimately get to a point of groundedness. And my process has been a loooong one.</p><p>What QCK has just supported me with is to discern what's 'my mind' from what's real. To learn and find out that even, and mostly, those experiences that 'felt so real' were actually not reality at all, but were just sort of 'remnants' or 'resonants'. My 'resonant design', made up of whatever memories I've stored in unconscious ways that are now distinctively 'resonating' through my mind in the form of 'experiences'. That all might sound a bit complicated, but it's to say that you end up taking so many things about how you see and perceive the world and how you experience yourself for granted, because most of it is, well, just not real. And the key is to find the memories that are anchored and stored away and are busy resonating. Cause if you don't, you're always sort of wandering in the dark inside your own mind, in all of these experiences, just trying to find a slice of the 'real you'.</p><p>And it took me long enough, but as I mentioned in my <a href="https://kim-reisnaarleven.blogspot.com/2021/02/the-resonance-of-fish-oil-and-its.html">previous post</a>, being pregnant has urged me to start using QCK to take on every point inside myself I could see I was stuck on. And that wasn't in the least because just the whole physical sensation of being pregnant and whatever that does to the body (especially in the beginning!) seemed to amplify and magnify many of my mental/emotional patterns (especially the extremely uncomfortable ones). Aside from that, there was also my resolve - with realizing I am becoming a PARENT! - that 'all this ends with me'. I may have been allowing all of this uncomfortable stuff inside myself for way too long, but I will not saddle a child, my child, with it too. </p><p>It really only took a few good, deep sessions with myself to find a way and clear a path for myself through things I've been stuck in within my mind for what seems like forever. At least most of my life. So many experiences I took for granted, believed to be real, and allowed myself to suffer through for so long, now just 'debunked' and cleared up in the span of maybe a few weeks. And for someone who has a 'fearful mind', I couldn't be more grateful that for the first time I was able to understand the mechanics of it all, instead of being swept away by the currents of fear resonating from the depths of my unconscious. I could give things a place and place myself into perspective. No longer thinking 'there's something grievously wrong with me', which is what you often end up feeling and believing when you suffer from massive anxiety and panic-attacks. The solution to all these things was now just a session away, and it's been glorious.</p><p>If you're at all curious about QCK and you feel like it might support you, don't hesitate to reach out to <a href="mailto:kim_amourette@hotmail.com">kim_amourette@hotmail.com</a>. I'm also on Facebook if you feel more comfortable sending me a message there. Dealing with anxiety is tough, and if I can in any way be a point of support in that journey, through QCK, and working with others the way I've worked with myself, then I am here.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>Kim Amourette</p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-1451771243285307572021-02-17T13:54:00.000-08:002021-02-17T13:54:34.020-08:00The Resonance of Fish Oil and its Effects on a Developing Fetus<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH1tCbcdTyikZ3vovt8na1YgGPuhHr9Fskp1Ejk7bApZUZ-zvad8wIxGZqDyqEHu2DWXQGPhAaLWlMeiuCzKUDXpjMICj7DfSSFAslaz1toa0poun68xRsJnwRlFENHL5Q-1WuvS9Yixge/s1200/shutterstock_1232669710.0.webp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1200" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH1tCbcdTyikZ3vovt8na1YgGPuhHr9Fskp1Ejk7bApZUZ-zvad8wIxGZqDyqEHu2DWXQGPhAaLWlMeiuCzKUDXpjMICj7DfSSFAslaz1toa0poun68xRsJnwRlFENHL5Q-1WuvS9Yixge/w450-h300/shutterstock_1232669710.0.webp" width="450" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p> This is an important, or rather exciting, point to share for me. One I've been wanting to share for a while but haven't found the way to do that entirely. I'm sure it's because it is a very new and different kind of thing and so it's a bit harder to find the vocabulary or way to express what it is that I want to express. </p><p>I have been walking quite a journey in a lot of different ways, and it mostly all started with getting pregnant. I mean, I've found that realizing you're having a baby kind of puts things in hyper-drive for you. Realizing I alone am entirely and completely and irrevocably responsible for this one being's life. The father has their responsibility as well of course, but having that being developing in your body is an entire different dimension of responsibility on its own! </p><p>Now comes the tricky part of what I have been anxious to share lol. If you know me, you know that I practice QCK (Quantum Change Kinesiology). This is a technique involving Applied Kinesiology that I've developed alongside Andrea Rossouw. And I haven't quite found a way of formulating what it is that I do exactly. Words sometimes fall short. I suppose it is suffice to say that I work with the mind and the body and particularly the relationship between those two on a very intimate level. And that level you could call the 'resonant level'. I work with 'resonance'. A very interesting study to reference here is the work of Masaru Emoto who did research around how thoughts, words, energies and intentions influence the molecular structure of water. He worked with the resonance of our mind on physical reality, or how our mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions resonates or ripples into and affects our physical reality. </p><p>I've found that being able to work with this resonant layer takes a lot of practice and sensitivity, and it's kind of like practicing a particular muscle of taking a thing and mapping out it's components. Like how a scientist would take a blood sample and puts it under a microscope to zoom in on what it consists of. When you're working with resonance you're doing the same thing but on the level of the mind and how the mind overlaps onto physical reality. It's fascinating stuff. Yet, very little research has actually been conducted to investigate this relationship. It almost seems like the medical community concluded that all of our thinking and feeling and everything that makes up our 'self' just happens 'in the brain', and left it at that, consequentially segregating itself entirely from the field of psychology. AND lazily shoving any discipline that aims to work with the relationship between mind and body into the category of 'alternative medicine' or 'pseudo-science'. Think acupuncture, homeopathy and Applied Kinesiology for example. It is very sad.</p><p>So you're kind of left to your own devices when it comes to establishing any understanding of your mind and your body and the relationship between the two. And perhaps that's a good thing too, from the perspective that this understanding is a very personal process. After all, you're setting out to understand 'you', as who you are in your mind and your body and the relationship between those two. Personally, it's taken me no less than a decade to establish this type of understanding, walking a very<a href="http://www.desteniiprocess.com"> intensive process</a> and applying very specific tools.</p><p>But all this is just leading me into what I wanted to share today specifically, and that's more just an example of the 'resonance' work that I do. I started off saying that it all started with being pregnant, because that sense of responsibility has pushed me to expand my abilities to working not just with myself but also with the baby fetus. Also my working with myself has been amped up because, having a baby means that who I am in my mind and body won't just influence me, but will now also influence this other being directly. This made my process of self-change take on a whole new importance. There's many more examples on this that I will be sharing later on, but for today I wanted to focus on one example in particular of working with the resonance of supplements. Fish oil to be exact, or Omega 3, 6 and 9. When it comes to anything I ingest, I make sure to do my research to confirm that it's safe to take during pregnancy, but I've also learned to check in with how it is resonating into my body and into the baby. What's the baby's experience with this supplement and how is it influencing the baby on a resonant level? The resonant level specifically lets me know what is going on on a mind level (yes, already!), which in turn will have its effect on the physical level of the baby.</p><p>I'll leave the explaining of how this works for another blog (I'm also happy to answer questions in the comment section!) and will just dive into what I saw upon investigating the resonance of the Omega 3/6/9 supplements. How it was resonating with the baby was that 'it's cool but there is a point there'. So that 'point' was something to look deeper into cause it's showing 'something' about the supplement that the baby is not entirely OK with. Now this is where it gets interesting because when you look into these kind of points you're also working with the composition of the thing, where it comes from, what it's made from, all on a resonant level! It can be exciting and also a bit scary sometimes, cause you don't ever know what you're going to see and uncover. It is always a diving into an exploration and an excavation of an unknown world.</p><p>I got a bit startled this time as well cause what came through was a very 'shark-like' resonance. As though this fish oil came from a very deep and wild part of the sea where fish exist in extreme survival, extreme competition, fear, aggression and fighting (for survival). The shark-like resonance in a way captured the essence or the depth of what 'survival' means and what it takes to survive in this reality. That resonance makes a lot of sense when you consider that Omega 3 specifically helps with brain development in the fetus. The brain being the primary operating center of our survival techniques and our learning and functioning abilities in this world. So what I particularly work with here is with why the baby was having 'issues' with this supplement, what those issues are and how they can be resolved. </p><p>These issues will always have to do with a 'reaction' that's taking place on some level of the mind, and this is something that can be directed with some simple guidance exercises. The reaction here was basically that 'this is very scary'. The shark-like resonance, the aggression and the 'dog-eat-dog' or 'fish-eat-fish' feel of it all. And it was interesting because I realized that this reaction came from the very 'sensitive' disposition that my baby has already copied from myself and its father. This is an issue that has come up before and something I've become aware of since working with my relationship with my baby in this way, that I am an extremely sensitive person when it comes to the world, society, survival and my environment and reality in general. I've become more and more aware of my many issues with anxiety and fear and it's become clear to me in my sessions with the baby thus far that it is already copying a lot of that. Already laying the foundation of its mind, to essentially eventually become even more sensitive of a person than myself and its father combined.</p><p>So this wasn't just an issue to direct with the baby, but also with myself, to correct that relationship of 'fear, anxiety and sensitivity' when it comes to the world and the concept of survival and competition. This is where the fun part comes in because it's where I get to go in and have a 'QCK session'. It's the fun part cause it's where we dig into the mind and sort of 'uproot' the reaction. If you imagine that one reaction to something is actually part of a much bigger system, design or 'plan' if you will, it's like pulling out a weed or a tree by the roots. It's a very exciting process that can go quite deep in terms of really getting to know yourself. Then after the session I check the resonance again and could see that the 'capacity' of dealing with this shark-like/survival resonance had changed. From a crumbling and suppressive response, to a more 'clown-like' response. Clown-like meaning, to have more fun, to see and work with things in a more lighthearted manner and to siphon out the aspects that matter and can be used from the ones that can be discarded in a very easy-breezy kind of way. </p><p> When it comes to survival, it doesn't have to be something scary, and it doesn't have to be something aggressive either. It's about strength, stability, knowing yourself and being ready for the world. So all the session did was align the baby's 'attitude' in relation to the fish-oil from reacting to the agressiveness with 'emotional sensitivity', to just keeping and using what is useful and good about it and ignoring the rest. It's small points of support, but fascinating nonetheless and they help me a lot too since everything I'm working with with the baby are issues I struggle with as well.</p><p>That is it for my sharing on this point. If all this intrigues you as much as it does me, then look out for more of these posts as I'll be sharing more of these stories of working with resonance. Also if your own resonance (as in, your relationship between your mind and physical reality) is something you feel ready to work with, then check out my practice on <a href="https://spaceofgrace.net/practice/courageous-heart/">Space of Grace</a>, or message me at kim_amourette@hotmail.com.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>Kim amourette<br /></p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-60534305453314041812021-01-14T14:46:00.004-08:002021-01-14T14:46:36.834-08:00The Meaning of Purpose<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgikxdMqZey_S2vjmpEQOPLWGjKB998P69rf4gFBVG7NbE84LlmCUx8ZbuEyWkVlWnvV3oqOE7UkRW-JM7-UKjiBTWFoF_PLOr15cvx75pRQRe55gMXJ8zlctBrExpJTrMFM9MjUmlDhU9d/s1200/What%2525u2019s-The-Difference-Between-Vision-Mission-and-Purpose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="628" data-original-width="1200" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgikxdMqZey_S2vjmpEQOPLWGjKB998P69rf4gFBVG7NbE84LlmCUx8ZbuEyWkVlWnvV3oqOE7UkRW-JM7-UKjiBTWFoF_PLOr15cvx75pRQRe55gMXJ8zlctBrExpJTrMFM9MjUmlDhU9d/w473-h247/What%2525u2019s-The-Difference-Between-Vision-Mission-and-Purpose.jpg" width="473" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p><br /></p><p> I've noticed that when it comes to ideas that I have where 'I'd like to' express something, like make a vlog or a blog and just do something that is in line with me expressing my care for life and the process I'm walking, there will very easily be 'discouragement' or rather thoughts come up that it's 'purposeless'. That I shouldn't bother, it's silly, it's stupid, just let it go and drop it and focus on more important things. </p><p>That's lead me to have another look at the word 'purpose' and how I'm defining it, in terms of what is it that I'm actually deeming 'important', valuable and worthy of my time. Because clearly, some programming in my mind is telling me that the things I want to do that would stand in support of life are 'purposeless'. So there's a problem here...</p><p> </p><p><i><u> Self-Forgiveness </u></i><br /></p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
define the word purpose in the context of the mind as survival – where the
question ‘what’s the purpose of this?’ must always be able to be answered in
terms of how will it generate money, or a following, or produce something
that’s considered a ‘value’ within the mind, such as money or fame or
popularity or success of some sort</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that I must require ‘proof’ that whatever I’m doing will in some way
contribute to a future success in terms of money and survival – or that it must
be nearly ‘set in stone’ that what I’m doing will have that eventual result of
‘success’ as defined in terms of money and/or fame – otherwise it’s simply not
worth doing at all and is a ‘worthless pursuit’</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to
find no ‘purpose’ and so no value or worth in things I do just for the sake of
seeing that it may contribute to a better world, that it may be supportive in
some way, where I am just expressing my ‘self’ as in my care for life and my
care to contribute to a better world in whatever way possible, and where I
don’t necessarily have a whole future business model all mapped out in terms of
how I might become famous or make money from it or how I may even be able to be
consistent in doing it – because all I have is that drive and that point of
care to hopefully maybe do and contribute to something that matters</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see and realize and understand that what matters isn’t scripted in any way,
so it’s never going to be that ‘sure thing’ in terms of the mind’s definition
of ‘money’ and ‘success’, and so to the mind it will never have ‘purpose’ –
there will never be a ‘purpose’ or a value and worth in doing it and there’ll
always be plenty of reasons for why you should just ‘give up’ and ‘not even
bother’</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see and realize and understand that as long as ‘purpose’ is defined by and
up to the mind, I will never see a ‘purpose’ in anything I do that matters, in
terms of things I do as a ‘self’-expression – and that I must be the directive
principle of the word ‘purpose’, in terms of for myself deciding what truly has
value and worth in this world and what doesn’t – and so not just accept those
thoughts that come up in the mind of ‘there’s no purpose to this’ or ‘this is
worthless and a waste of time’ just because it does not directly relate to
‘survival’ and ‘money’ and ‘success’ defined within survival and money</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to
accept this preprogrammed definition of the word ‘purpose’, where the value or
worth of something is defined by whether it’s able to contribute to ‘survival’
and ‘success’ as defined within the mind consciousness system where it’s
defined within self-interest rather than what’s best or supportive for all –
instead of being the directive principle of ‘purpose’ and aligning it with life
as what’s best for all as who I really am and what I know to be what matters,
where everything that contributes to creating a better world for all has value
and worth, and the things that only consider self-interest do not have value or
worth and so are ‘without purpose’</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see and realize and understand that the consequences of living the word
purpose as defined by the mind consciousness system in terms of only seeing
value and worth in what’s going to contribute to my survival in this world is
that I’m contributing to and creating a world and reality that does not honor
life as self-expression in every moment – a world of competition and separation
that disregards and neglects what’s actually here such as nature and animals,
where no care is given to that which really matters, and so a world doomed to
self-destruct</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word purpose within a positively charged energy that tells me that 'something HAS purpose' - instead of seeing and realizing and understanding that everything has a particular 'purpose' -- it's to just find out what that purpose is by investigating the consequences of my actions and having a look at what I'm actually contributing to and creating through my actions and behavior</p><p class="MsoNormal">i forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that this belief that there are certain things that are 'purposeful' and other things that are 'purposeless' just shows me that I have been brainwashed and programmed to be a robot who only does things they've been programmed to believe 'have purpose' without understanding the actual purpose as in the consequences and what I'm actually busy creating - and so without being the directive principle in terms of actually investigating the consequences of my actions as to what 'purpose' my actions are actually serving, as well as deciding what it is I actually want to be creating<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><u>Self-commitment </u></i><br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When and as I see myself thinking that there’s no purpose to
something I’m doing just because I cannot prove to myself or show how it might
contribute to any future ‘success’ as defined by the mind in terms of
money/fame/survival, and that I ‘shouldn’t even bother doing it’ and ‘should
just give it up’ – then I stop and I breathe, and I see and realize and
understand that I am living the word purpose as defined in and as the mind and
have been accepting and allowing the mind to be the directive principle of
‘purpose’</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And I see, realize and understand<span style="color: #1f497d;">
that it’s how I’ve been taught and preprogrammed to live the word purpose – and
that thus real purpose aligned with life as what’s best for all in oneness and
equality is to investigate and look into the actual consequences of what I
place value and worth in and which actions and behavior I deem valuable and
worthy and which ones I don’t, to not just trust the thoughts that come up in
the mind that something is ‘worthless’ and ‘I shouldn’t bother’ but to actually
look into ‘what would this contribute to?’ and so to see where this action will
take me and what I will end up creating through it</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #1f497d; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I see and realize and understand that the mind is programmed to
automatically judge everything that’s aligned with life and that’s best for all
as ‘purposeless’, and everything that contributes to self-interest as ‘purposeful’
– and that thus it’s up to me to investigate all things and be the directive
principle of the word purpose in terms of self-honestly having a look at what
actually contributes to creating a world that’s best for all and what actually
only contributes to its inevitable destruction</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #1f497d; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">As I see and realize and understand that oftentimes the mind
will deem something ‘purposeless’ and ‘not worth doing’ while its those things
that actually come from a place of innocence and self-expression and genuine
care</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #1f497d; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I commit myself to live the word purpose<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in terms of making sure that my actions and
behavior is aligned with ultimately contributing to and creating a world that
is best for all – supporting those behaviors and actions that are aligned with
life and changing the ones that aren’t</span></p>
Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-2707786351456972262021-01-10T16:09:00.002-08:002021-01-10T16:09:36.941-08:00From Relationship to Agreement<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpJ5Y28Hjzj7bA6qKqDCu6nYVM2-cdvAeYCQ0cxb6I3ShrDEE_eVYtd605Xxo2-4c2qesEPBKoQNcx6y4e_RgJnC3SvQskQ8Yge1PsLJ6dKAYmiPm7fYoa95N5RrEvRx6mZ3S3HAYM0VwB/s1200/alex-iby-LaHo9Set3bI-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1200" height="323" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpJ5Y28Hjzj7bA6qKqDCu6nYVM2-cdvAeYCQ0cxb6I3ShrDEE_eVYtd605Xxo2-4c2qesEPBKoQNcx6y4e_RgJnC3SvQskQ8Yge1PsLJ6dKAYmiPm7fYoa95N5RrEvRx6mZ3S3HAYM0VwB/w485-h323/alex-iby-LaHo9Set3bI-unsplash.jpg" width="485" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>This is quite an interesting blog written by Kim Kline, called "<a href="https://kimsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2021/01/relationships-as-religion.html?m=1&fbclid=IwAR1sWEmA6l-x42j3EXH322VdANjbYSFCbEWhu_SDINkZFRgIsUhHFZA0LQc">Relationships as religion</a>" and well worth a read as her experiences mirror my own. I've been walking a similar path as of late, walking a relationship into an agreement. In fact, I had my relationship fail first before it was able, or rather before I was able to consider it could also be something different. Something more supportive for me as an individual, rather than something that would have me compromise myself.</p><p>In fact my relationship failed because I was so indoctrinated and obsessed with the religion of it. Using it as the 'rock' that hides and suppresses my deep, hidden fears. I was not supporting myself. My real self. Who I am as an individual. I more defined myself by the relationship. By my fear of losing it in my life. Fear of what I may face and experience within myself if I lost this 'rock'. And the indoctrination was so deep that I had to lose it, to realize there is still a 'self' without the relationship, and that that self needs to be honored a lot more than I had been. It was only fitting for my relationship to fail so that I may see and realize I had not been honoring what's best for me. I had not been listening to myself, or expressing myself. I was living for some 'God' or some 'idea' of what's more important than me, being my 'relationship'. Something I believed I could not live without.</p><p>All of my perfect ideas and ideals around relationships needed to end so that I could realize that what I had been believing in all this time had been a lie, and so that I could finally start placing myself first as 'God'. Having some self-respect, some self-integrity, self-honor and self-consideration. </p><p>It was only because life took an unexpected turn of events, that my (ex)-partner and I came back together to form an agreement. This time both of us with open eyes, not 'falling' into anything, not out of feelings of 'love' or beliefs about being 'meant for each other' or even a desire to be together. But simply an agreement that we'll be two individuals who walk together in the physical and who will honor themselves and stand in support of honoring that individuality.</p><p>It is still challenging, because the desire to be in a relationship will still come up. The familiar tendency to want that 'rock' to be there to conveniently hide all of my fears under, and any of the unpleasant and uncomfortable experiences I've come to associate with 'being alone'. But, as Kim Kline stated in her blog, and as I've also realized, I am not alone. Yes I am responsible for me, I am an individual, I do not need a relationship, but just because there is no relationship, doesn't mean there is 'aloneness'. In fact I've found that within an agreement there is more togetherness, because now I get to be unapologetically me. I get to share me as I am. I don't need to hide anything, which I realized I was actually doing quite a lot while in a relationship. In fact, being in a relationship made me feel much more alone than being in an agreement. I just never realized how much until I stepped out of the relationship and suddenly felt a sense of freedom.</p><p><br /></p><p>To be continued...</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><a href="http://www.desteni.org">www.desteni.org</a></p><p><a href="http://www.destonians.com">www.destonians.com</a></p><p><a href="http://www.desteniiprocess.com">www.desteniiprocess.com</a></p><p><a href="http://www.eqafe.com">www.eqafe.com</a></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-84074973455191118412020-12-29T10:23:00.002-08:002020-12-29T10:23:31.686-08:00To Dare to Jump into the Deep End<p> This is a continuation of my previous post "<a href="https://kim-reisnaarleven.blogspot.com/2020/12/being-your-own-worst-enemy.html">Being my own worst enemy</a>"</p><p></p><blockquote><p><i>"This point being for instance 'fear'. Fears of failing, fears of 'what if this doesn't work out', fears of 'what will people think'... Fears related to 'success' and not being successful at something. So I'll rather opt for what is 'safe' and end up not actually moving or pushing myself in the direction that I actually should be. I'll rather actually more keep things the same, even though they should be, and I'd like them to be better. I can see this fear of failing, fear of doing and trying new things out of fear that the desired result will not be achieved, in person X. And I can see it in myself as well, as my 'stumbling block' that I've been having difficulty moving past. Almost a decision that 'I will not do or try anything where I cannot be certain that the end result will live or measure up to an idea of 'success' that I've already created in my mind. Cause I've decided that anything that doesn't measure up to that idea, is automatically a 'failure'."</i></p><p></p></blockquote><p><br style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #595454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /></p><p>So looking at this point a bit more of why there seems such a 'blockage' when it comes to self-movement, there's a memory that comes up of when I was little. I was at the pool with my family, and while I was afraid to step into the shallowest side of the kiddy pool as I was holding my mother's hand, my brother who was younger than me was over on the other side jumping into the deep end with not a worry in the world. While me, I had ALL the worries in the world. I was scared to just jump in. I was scared to even try. SO MUCH could go wrong. And I needed so much time, and a lot of coaxing to finally dip my toe into it.</p><p>It's kind of that same feeling that now stops me from just going for things for example, just doing something, just jumping into something that's unknown to an extent. Just taking that leap or just taking that step of moving myself into a particular direction that perhaps I'm not very used to. It almost feels like standing at the edge of a pool at the deep end and having to jump in, where everything inside of me is telling me that 'so much could go wrong!'. That I should not, and can not, just jump. It's insanity.</p><p>And I did perceive my brother as being slightly insane in fact lol. A little bit unhinged, and where I had too many worries, perhaps he had too few... Perhaps he should have had a bit more care and caution for himself. Although yes, where some things are just downright dangerous to 'just jump into it', other things aren't, and it's important to be able to let go of that veil of worries and see things for what they are. Most things that I'm wanting to try and do are not actually dangerous and do not require me to be so overly hesitant.</p><p><br /></p><p><i><u>Self-Forgiveness</u></i></p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself in and as this personality design of being overly cautious and full of worries when it comes to doing and trying new or different things from what I'm used to</p><p>I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself that there is caution in the mind as a veil of worries as self-sabotage and then there is real caution - where real caution is to assess reality based on common sense to see what's actually dangerous and what isn't, rather than assuming that everything must be dangerous within and as the worry personality in the mind</p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop a personality based on this holding back/worry personality, of 'thinking' and 'pondering' -- locking myself internally into a dimension of thought where I then sit and just think, basically preoccupying myself from going ahead and just doing the thing, almost trying to convince myself that I can predict or simulate or create the same thing in my mind and that I therefore don't have to move myself in physical reality</p><p>I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that I am never able to really get to know something and myself within it and create something without doing it in physical reality - and that the 'thinking' in the mind is really no comparison or representation of actual reality</p><p>I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to just 'jump into' things within physical reality in terms of doing something and trying something out and moving into a certain direction by thinking that 'there are so many things that could go wrong!'</p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself in and as this thought of 'there are so many things that could go wrong!', connected with an experience of worry, when standing at the advent of something new or different</p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must protect myself from 'all the things that could go wrong!' and therefore must not go for things or jump into things and just take the step forward into a direction, but must stagnate and remain in place locked into a mind personality of thinking - as self-preoccupation, to at least create some kind of illusion of movement, even if it's not real and is only internally within thoughts and feelings and emotions as 'energy movements'</p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is wrong to just take a step or do something without first thinking about it profusely - because if I'm not thinking first, then I am not applying caution</p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define caution as 'thinking profusely about doing anything before going ahead and taking a step forward or moving into a certain direction'</p><p>I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to rather live caution as having a 'cushion' for myself to land on when I do step into things - where it's not about holding myself back and sabotaging my physical movement - but more about providing a gentle guidance for myself as I walk through whatever I'm deciding to do and venture into</p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define caution in and as emotional experiences of worry and doubt and insecurity and fear, where the result is me suppressing and holding back my physical expression and movement in this world and reality</p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that me holding back on moving myself in physical reality is me protecting myself from 'what could go wrong' - instead of realizing and seeing that it's actually me sabotaging myself from living and learning and getting to know myself and reality and life</p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself back and sabotage myself from learning and getting to know reality and myself </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust the mind instead of trusting physical reality and my simple assessment of physical reality in terms of seeing what is actually 'dangerous' and what is not -- which does not require 'thinking'</p><p><br /></p><p>when and as I see myself going into the mind as the worry personality in relation to doing things in physical reality - then i stop and i breathe -- and I see and realize and understand that I am just busy holding myself back and sabotaging myself from getting to know and learning about reality and myself </p><p>I see and realize and understand that to get to know reality is to do new things and try different things and allowing myself to step into specific directions that I'm not familiar with - and to get out of the mind</p><p>I see and realize and understand that I do not need thoughts and 'thinking' to be able to see reality - and that thinking is more just preoccupation based on emotions like doubts and insecurities and fears and is not actually a representation of actual reality</p><p>I see and realize and understand that applying caution is not to think about things within worry and fear, but to just look at physical reality simplistically and assess whats actually realistically dangerous and what isn't </p><p>I commit myself to trust the physical body rather than the mind when applying and practicing 'caution' when it comes to doing things and 'jumping into' things and moving into certain directions - and so to live real caution rather than caution based on the mind as thinking and emotional experiences</p><p>and so I commit myself to through doing so, get to know reality and myself - by actually doing things in physical reality</p><p><br /></p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-87356329161900469452020-12-28T11:57:00.005-08:002020-12-28T11:57:52.058-08:00Being your own worst enemy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZBSCi4X61Be8McY8zpNl-ILMQUzSZIKyFvPgvQWfY6kTLM1MyevWzFEdrZqcKhm43raVqjOndagLZxZCeRUbj0z9vawkmg_9GnEtdjyHve8o_SdEguKYMF48XBP7gzm7H4__1C12LYNOf/s232/download+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="232" data-original-width="217" height="372" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZBSCi4X61Be8McY8zpNl-ILMQUzSZIKyFvPgvQWfY6kTLM1MyevWzFEdrZqcKhm43raVqjOndagLZxZCeRUbj0z9vawkmg_9GnEtdjyHve8o_SdEguKYMF48XBP7gzm7H4__1C12LYNOf/w348-h372/download+%25282%2529.jpg" width="348" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p> It is interesting, this point was brought home to me through the principle of what your reality is showing you is what you accept and allow, your reality being a mirror to you. To have a look at specific people in my reality and what they mirror back to me, what stands out is very particular programming of 'being your own worst enemy'. Programming of self-sabotage. Where, there's not much wrong with your environment per se. Your environment is here, and gives you plenty of opportunity for you to create, yet, it's you within yourself who is more choosing to deteriorate rather than move forward and create.</p><p>So it's more through seeing what is happening to people in my environment, and in some ways to myself, that I am seeing what I am accepting and allowing in and as me. As in a choice to deteriorate, and hold back, rather than move forward and create. </p><p>Let's take person X as example. Person X does an interesting thing where it is by no lack of trying or talent or skill that they seem to keep cycling in the same unsupportive and dire circumstances and situations. It's more their emotional patterns that cause them to not support themselves properly to move forward in their life and create a supportive physical environment for themselves. They're actually quite driven and decided to make the best of themselves and to 'get ahead' in life and succeed. But a pattern wherein they sabotage themselves in for example, is a 'blame' of their situation, of the world around them, of the universe, and of other people, as to why it is that they cannot seem to move forward or change anything to their circumstances. It is a point of believing that 'I am in this situation because reality is not cooperating'. And so a self-pity as well, which sometimes can spill over into suicidal tendencies even, when the anger and self-pity becomes overwhelming.</p><p>I know that to a large extent I have changed this particular programming within myself, where I am quite aware that everything about me and my life is in my hands. That, if I do not move, nothing will. And that thus, I must find a way. Even if everything seems impossible for me to change and do anything. I must find a way, because reality will not do anything for me. In fact, given the current world system, the chips are always stacked against me, if I have any integrity at all and want to create and do anything that involves integrity.</p><p>Yet clearly, my reality being a mirror, there are some aspects of it that I have not yet grasped or understood and changed. Because yes, even though I do have this understanding that everything is in my hands, there has still at the same time been this point of 'stuckness' that I've found myself in. Where, I'm not particularly moving either way. Even though, I want to and am trying to. There are some dimensions there of self-sabotage that I have not yet been able to change. Where, I have in a way even given up on trying to find different ways. Given up on truly supporting myself, because no matter what I did, I seemed to always end up feeling stuck. </p><p>So perhaps, working with my reality within the mirror principle may give me some new perspective. And in a way it is a point of expanding my responsibility as well. To take responsibility for the lives of those around me by realizing and seeing how they mirror some points within me that I am accepting and allowing (without being consciously aware of it).</p><p>So yes with person X I'm very much working with a pattern of basically feeling stifled, held back and sabotaged at every turn and effort by reality. A sense of 'I am doing and trying everything that I can, but it's reality that isn't cooperating somehow. There is something about the end result of my actions that is out of my hands.' But it's actually a point where I 'give up' and don't push through or venture beyond. And that point has nothing to do with reality but is more a point inside myself that I've decided is too overwhelming or overpowering for me, and I just cannot move past it.</p><p>This point being for instance 'fear'. Fears of failing, fears of 'what if this doesn't work out', fears of 'what will people think'... Fears related to 'success' and not being successful at something. So I'll rather opt for what is 'safe' and end up not actually moving or pushing myself in the direction that I actually should be. I'll rather actually more keep things the same, even though they should be, and I'd like them to be better. I can see this fear of failing, fear of doing and trying new things out of fear that the desired result will not be achieved, in person X. And I can see it in myself as well, as my 'stumbling block' that I've been having difficulty moving past. Almost a decision that 'I will not do or try anything where I cannot be certain that the end result will live or measure up to an idea of 'success' that I've already created in my mind. Cause I've decided that anything that doesn't measure up to that idea, is automatically a 'failure'.</p><p><br /></p><p>To be continued...</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-6939178806326221702020-11-13T19:27:00.003-08:002020-11-13T19:27:33.783-08:00Social Anxiety<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin8DT-flMsIzklS3rXirffZiXVTL-sMLb2e8zUSkeWQaVfkBcWX3Yq3YA32R0T9Svf_4EGWMwR-O-NcDNttQbrFQPhtorJCFqEpMQ2faSxxD8u0qmWBGkNTStjoA8i4O8D6wTaQeUjGt2h/s1830/banners_social-anxiety-1830x750-c-center.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="1830" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin8DT-flMsIzklS3rXirffZiXVTL-sMLb2e8zUSkeWQaVfkBcWX3Yq3YA32R0T9Svf_4EGWMwR-O-NcDNttQbrFQPhtorJCFqEpMQ2faSxxD8u0qmWBGkNTStjoA8i4O8D6wTaQeUjGt2h/w555-h227/banners_social-anxiety-1830x750-c-center.jpg" width="555" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p> I just have to share this timeline I did in DIP Pro, cause it just so perfectly captures my entire experience as a person in this world, in my life lol. Just 'anxious', uncomfortable, trapped in my own skin, in my environment, not particularly enjoying the whole 'social' experience, around 'other humans'.</p><p><br /></p><div><span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">MP-->-->-->-->-->memory of sitting on the sidelines watching other kids playing a game</span></div><div><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="font-family: times new roman;">E1</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->--> I'm at Chiro</span></div><div><span style="font-family: times new roman;">E1</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->-->--> my parents are making me come here and 'play with the other kids'</span></div><div><span style="font-family: times new roman;">E1 </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->-->-->--> my brother too</span></div><div><span style="font-family: times new roman;">E1</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->--> but neither of us likes coming here</span></div><div><span style="font-family: times new roman;">E1</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->--> we're always trying to get out of it, whining at my parents to please let us stay home</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">E2 </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->--> I don't feel like I fit in</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">E2</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->-->--> I don't feel like I am accepted or that the others like me very much</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">E2 </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->I feel anxious and uncomfortable</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">E2 </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->--> I feel uncomfortable in my clothes even</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">E2 </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->--> I always feel cold and rather just stay inside where it's warm and where we get our treats</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">E3</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->--> I am sitting on the side watching as the other girls in my group play a ball game</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">E3</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->-->--> I've already been tagged out</span></div><div><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="background-color: white;">E3</span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->-->-->--> I watch as they all seem really into the game, into competing against each other</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">E3</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->--> I think 'I don't understand it. I don't understand what people like so much about fighting against each other trying to be the winner. Can't we all just be friends and get along?'</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">E3</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->I feel an aversion to playing games where you have to 'beat' other people and try to be a winner, specifically very physically active games</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">E3</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->--> I think I don't want to participate, it's all too rough for me. I want more gentle things, like staying inside and eating or talking or playing board games</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">E3</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->--> I'm wishing we could go inside and I'm waiting until it's time for us to go inside</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">E4 </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->--> I feel trapped cause I'm forced to be there against my will. So all I can do is just sit and wait, feeling uncomfortable inside myself, until I get to go home. While pretending that I like being part of it all and doing all the things everyone else is doing. </span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">E4 </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->-->--> feel like I'm imprisoned inside my own body and my environment</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">E4</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;">-->-->-->-->-->-->-->--> cause I can't go anywhere or do any of the things that I actually want to do and am forced by my parents to be here and do this</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px;"><br /></span></div><p>And it's with opening up these kind of memories that at first glance seem so trivial in the landscape of my life, that I get to go deeper into this whole design play out of 'me'. That I can have realizations, like 'oh wow, if only I had just been honest with myself about the fact that I hated it there and hated everything about it, it would have actually helped me be more comfortable with myself'. Cause writing out this memory play-out, I can see that it's especially the part where I'm 'pretending' to enjoy being and doing what everybody else is doing, that caused me to feel trapped inside myself. To feel even uncomfortable in my own skin. </p><p>Rather than thinking that I must force myself to fit into this environment and be like everyone else, I could have just recognized for myself that 'no, I was actually forced to go to this place and be here, and I just don't like any of it'. So, rather than trying to force myself to enjoy it, just embrace the hate lol. Embrace and be real with the fact that, hey, I really actually don't like or enjoy any of this. </p><div><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="background-color: white;">Cause I noticed I do that a lot with myself, kind of force myself into trying to enjoy something just because 'everybody else seems to', while I actually simply don't enjoy it if I'm honest with myself. Trying to 'fit into' what seems to be 'the way of life' for most people and pretend that I'm enjoying this ride just like the next person, while I actually am continuously asking myself 'what the hell am I doing here?' and 'what's really the point of all this?' And so I'm not just being honest with myself about how I actually experience myself. More living life based on BELIEF of how I should feel and should be. It's bizarre.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="background-color: white;">So anyways, just wanted to share this timeline cause I thought it's really neat to be able to get into the nitty-gritty of yourself within this online DIP Pro course, and to then start really changing things through different tools. Taking on your own memories as the 'fabric' of your life and of 'you' and redesigning your whole experience. Pretty cool stuff.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://www.desteni.org">www.desteni.org</a></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://www.desteniiprocess.com">www.desteniiprocess.com</a></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://www.destonians.com">www.destonians.com</a></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://www.eqafe.com">www.eqafe.com</a></span></span></div>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-9247204884448450822020-10-29T14:39:00.002-07:002020-10-29T15:27:07.253-07:00Self-sabotage in the process of self-perfection<p></p><p><span lang="EN-CA" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"> I forgive myself that
I haven't accepted and allowed myself to accept myself and to accept things, as
in my life and my process and my circumstances and my mind, as what they are,
by comparing and going into the past looking at what I could have, should have,
would have done, at how things 'ought to be' different, because I 'shouldn't
be' dealing with the points I'm dealing with, and judging consequences that I
am facing and that are playing out in my life, thinking oh if only I had done
things differently or if only I had transcended or realized that point sooner
-- instead of seeing and realizing and understanding that although yes,
consequences are always hard to face, and it always feels like a 'failure' in
some ways because 'all this happened just cause I wasn't aware', at the end of
the day it's here for me to learn, as part of my process, and I shouldn't be so
hard on myself about the things that I still need to learn and haven't been
understanding or seeing or realizing or aware of, as facing consequences is
hard enough --- what I need is for me to support myself through it, take it for
and as what it is, and be understanding and forgiving with myself so I can make
the best out of the situation -- realizing that what's here is here, and it's
merely my reality showing me things I haven't taken accountability for, things
I've been giving my power away to and have been using as a crutch or a
smokescreen to not see myself and to not stand<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-CA" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to expect myself and my process to sort of be
'perfect', because I had this image or idea or belief in my mind of what it was
going to be like, and now that it turns out to not be like that at all but in a
way quite the opposite, to think and believe that I must have 'done it all
wrong' -- instead of just being real with myself about the fact that this
process is about walking myself into perfection, and about correcting all the
'imperfections' I've been accepting and allowing in and as me -- which are VAST
- and so yes, things will get TOUGH as I face all of me that I have never taken
responsibility for throughout my existence -- and so I should rather find a way
to enjoy in a way, and sort of sit back and relax so I can face these things
'comfortably', or rather without too much unnecessary suffering, as there will
be suffering enough<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-CA" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I forgive myself that I
havent accepted and allowed myself to, instead of so easily and automatically
beating up on myself and being hard on myself for my apparent and perceived
'failings', rather find ways to support myself, because that's at the end of
the day what I really need --- all the support I can get, if I want to in any
way get through this process effectively<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-CA" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I forgive myself that I
havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that
beating up on myself and being hard on myself doesn't work – in terms of that
it’s more like an excuse to not take responsibility and walk that process of
simply correcting and perfecting myself, which is arduous enough<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-CA" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I forgive myself that I
haven’t accepted and allowed myself to support myself – seeing and realizing
and understanding that it’s what I need in order to perfect myself, to change
myself into what’s best for all – is to give myself all my support – IF I am
really in fact serious about walking this process<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-CA" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to believe that me being hard on myself is
somehow me being helpful – instead of seeing and realizing and understanding
that it really doesn’t serve me as it just triggers a lot of emotions in me
where I just end up keeping myself trapped in emotions rather than actually
supporting myself to move forward<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-CA" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">I forgive myself that I
haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that any
‘being hard on myself’ is really a deliberate self-sabotage programming in the
mind because I’m really not helping or supporting myself in my process of
self-correction and self-perfection as I’m just not giving myself what I
actually need – but more dragging myself down and making it ten times harder
for myself to really move myself, because all I really need is support and
understanding and consideration and care for me to believe in myself and to
stand up and pick myself up <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"> I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to
have a self honest look at what I actually need to walk my process effectively
– rather than just by default choosing to be hard on myself and beat up on
myself, assuming that that’s what I need or that’s how I need to be treated and
approached – instead of looking at the objective, which is me succeeding in my
process of self-perfection and then based on that, choosing the best treatment
and approach that’s going to support me most effectively to be successful in
the outcome</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and
realize and understand that choosing to automatically beat up on myself and be
hard on myself for any little ‘mistake’ or flaw is actually like deliberate
self-sabotage and is more something that I copied and learned from my
environment growing up, who obviously also weren’t very observant or caring or
considerate in terms of looking at what I actually needed in order to learn and
develop myself most effectively or achieve certain results, but would more
REACT – not considering or caring about the consequences those reactions would
have in terms of how I would go on to believe that that’s how I should be
treated and that’s the ‘normal’ response to ‘mistakes’ or ‘flaws’</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to assess
for myself what’s actually needed and whether this beating up and being hard is
actually effective – where obviously my environment’s objective was to push me
somehow to not make certain mistakes and push me towards ‘success’ or some kind
of outcome, yet where the effects of their approach actually more had the
adverse effect, where I’d get really anxious and nervous about ‘making
mistakes’ and would really limit myself in everything I did and so actually
compromised my ability to achieve success and develop myself effectively in
certain areas – which is now the same within my process, where I actually work
against myself by being hard on myself for my ‘mistakes’ rather than
being supportive<o:p></o:p></span></p>I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that I haven't actually been committed or dedicated to the goal that I've been moving towards in terms of self-perfection - because I've been deliberately sabotaging myself through being hard on myself and beating up on myself - so haven't actually been truly caring about what it is that I'm trying to do<p></p><p>I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to really actually care about perfecting myself and correcting myself and standing as what's best for all - by allowing myself to be side-tracked so often, or just allowing these kind of experiences and patterns to come in and hold me back and suppress my movement, to the point where it just feels so hard to just stand up and change and just live the solution because I feel bad about myself or I believe myself to be unworthy or undeserving or whatever feeling or thought is there to make implementing and living change feel like a struggle or even an impossibility for me --- where I then get more focused and preoccupied with this sabotage point and allow that to take the stage, completely losing sight of where I was actually going and what I am actually doing, and obviously believing that whatever this 'roadblock' is thats making me believe I 'can't' perfect myself is more important than actually perfecting myself</p><p>so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to basically place the mind - as all the reasons why i 'can't' perfect myself and exist as whats best for all - before what's best for all as life, by allowing myself to give my power and attention away to all these 'reasons' for why i apparently cannot do it or why it's really difficult or tough for me, as though suddenly my 'goal' as 'what's best for all' and 'self-perfection' doesn't matter anymore and isn't all that important --- just cause the mind swooped in to make me feel like me being imperfect is more important than me being perfect, and me NOT living what's best for all is more important than me living what's best for all</p><p>I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that whats important is that I correct and change myself and live as what's best for all --- not how I feel about myself or things like whether or not I am worthy or deserving or good enough - cause this is about more than just me, this is about 'all as me' - so do i really care or consider 'all as me' when I allow myself to listen to the reasons for why I can't stand or can't do it or can't change?</p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it makes sense to basically work against myself in this process of self-perfection, and have it be this struggle - where I'm mostly just struggling against myself and all these mechanisms and patterns within me where i make this process more difficult for me than it actually needs to be - just by basically 'being on my case' anytime I see a 'mistake' I made in terms of something I missed or a point I wasn't aware of or something I've neglected to work on in my process, or consequences playing out, which actually happens a lot, where I have these 'sudden realizations' that 'omg I've fallen into some point in the mind' or that I've fallen into the revenge of the ego or the mind had me by the balls somehow all the while I was believing that I know what I'm doing and I'm on top of things - instead of just immediately going into the correction and looking at how to change and move from there -- so not remaining stuck within the point of 'omg I fucked up!' through beating up on myself, but rather being understanding and realizing that I will need to move forward at some point anyways, so might as well just go into living solutions immediately as I see the problem</p><p>I forgive myself that i havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that everything about my existence is and has been a 'problem' - has been programming - and NOTHING has been life, nothing has been me, so everywhere I look is going to be 'problems' and 'consequence' as things to correct and redefine -- so I better just get going with my process of correction cause consequence is going to be here regardless, it's just up to me how 'severe' it's going to be</p><p>I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that everything that is here is consequence - so I will be facing consequence in one way or another, specifically about all the points I have not been specifically changing and correcting in my process, as points I have been neglecting or not taking seriously in terms of changing - also as a consequence of allowing myself to hold myself back and sabotage myself in how I walk my process --- so might as well let go of any reactions with regards to facing consequence, and just accept the consequences I'm facing and just immediately go into living solutions</p><p><br /></p><p>I see and realize and understand that everything that's here is consequence as i have never lived me and never lived life as what's best for all, but have always been living programming -- and that thus this pattern and programming in the mind of being hard on myself and beating up on myself for the consequences I'm facing due to my 'mistakes' and flaws that I have not changed or corrected does not make sense as all I'm doing is just prolonging my process of simply changing and correcting and living solutions</p><p>I see and realize and understand that in a way it's like, within this pattern of beating up on myself and being hard on myself for my 'mistakes' is like I am coming from a belief that i am perfect or am already supposed to be perfect - while not realizing or understanding that if anything, I am like the opposite of perfect and have always existed as a preprogrammed system full of patterns and mechanisms and definitions that aren't best, and have never been aware of any of it, nor have taken responsibility for any of it -- so really, all I'm going to be dealing with is nothing but 'mistakes', as things I'll have to realize along the way that I havent been aware of and havent taken responsibility for - so I'll need to find a way to get past the reactions of wanting to beat up on myself for all of it and just taking it as it is and get into living solutions regardless of what the problem is</p><p> I see and realize and understand that while my initial reaction is to beat up on myself - i will have to eventually just change anyways so might as well go into the process of change immediately instead of lingering in the reactions to the problem <br /></p><p>I commit myself to, when I am faced with a mistake in terms of something i havent been aware of cause I've been neglecting investigating or changing the point, support myself to go into immediate looking a solution rather than lingering in a reaction of beating up on myself for it<br /></p><p>I commit myself to actually SUPPORT myself in terms of just doing what I see I can, to change and correct myself, rather than being in this point of trying to avoid consequences somehow or avoid facing my mistakes and then ending up just not moving effectively in the process of self-perfection and -correction -- and so actually just get myself MOVING rather than stagnating<br /></p><p><br /></p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-78036566975548960892020-09-30T14:48:00.002-07:002020-09-30T14:48:08.267-07:00Relaxation is... To Give Yourself A Break<p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYxnce88zmKTMUNE6J7z1cbHc86IOStWOwxXiTMnOLohPimEowyYo9vGI48VSFlgSd9poycZBPCh0azMX79PCTbKBgcbaZ6w4wMcFqAOlBcvcF8lVtIlrADjlAtqLrzRMaFMNm-eAlI8Ce/s800/relaxation-exercises.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="800" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYxnce88zmKTMUNE6J7z1cbHc86IOStWOwxXiTMnOLohPimEowyYo9vGI48VSFlgSd9poycZBPCh0azMX79PCTbKBgcbaZ6w4wMcFqAOlBcvcF8lVtIlrADjlAtqLrzRMaFMNm-eAlI8Ce/w532-h266/relaxation-exercises.jpg" width="532" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal">This is a continuation of my previous post "<a href="https://kim-reisnaarleven.blogspot.com/2020/09/relaxation-is-to-slow-down.html">Relaxation is... To SLOW DOWN</a>"<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--> </p><p class="MsoNormal">I sometimes find myself… well, “sometimes”, OFTEN lol. I
OFTEN find myself sort of thinking about or ‘looking at’ myself. Thinking about
‘my place in the world’ in a way. ‘Who am I?’ And sometimes seeing, well, some ‘tough
stuff’. That, in a lot of ways I haven’t been, and am not, who I’ve always
believed myself to be. I’m not quite as ‘good’ and ‘innocent’ and ‘well-meaning’
and ‘honest’ and what have you, as I tended to believe. It’s the ‘real shit’ in
a way. Seeing more of a ‘real’ and honest portrait and representation of myself
that’s not at all the image of positivity and good-heartedness I’ve been ‘hiding’
behind for all of my life.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And it can be quite a ‘bottomless pit’ sometimes. A barrel I
could just stare down forever and ever. Where it seems as though, there’s just
no end to my deception, to the lies, the manipulation, the hiding, the
self-compromise. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s just a vast
wasteland of hopelessness without a speck of ‘light’ so to speak. Something I
could sink into and disappear in, and just keep sinking without ever reaching a
bottom. And the regret and despair is immense. All of my mistakes, all of my
shortcomings, my flaws, all of it. Once you start to really open things up,
there’s just a vastness to it.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I mean this sort of ‘vastness’ only really opened up not too
long ago, when I started really SEEING the consequences, and my responsibility
and contribution to those consequences. Seeing the ACTUAL impact my actions and
who I am within them is having on my reality. And seeing ALL the ways I have
not been considering reality, but have more been lost within illusions and
delusions in my mind. It’s been a shock to say the least, and easy to kind of
get lost in, and get sucked into.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But I’ve realized that, at some point, I HAVE TO stop. I
have to ‘give myself a break’. Yes it’s vast, and yes I’m sure there’s lots and
lots more I’m not yet seeing and not yet considering and yes it’s all ‘pretty
bad’. But at some point I need to be like ‘ok, whatever’. And just more focus
on correcting and changing myself, than staring down the deep bottomless pit of
regret for what I haven’t but should have been living. At the end of the day,
what matters is CHANGE. Is that I do what I can with what I’ve got, to change
and correct myself. I mean it’s cool to see where and how I’ve compromised
myself, and have been ‘lacking’. But if it’s not being used to push myself to
change, then it’s kind of useless and a waste of time. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Cause I’ve found that it does create like a point of ‘stress’
within me. Where, I’m not just living and not just ‘here’. I’m more sinking
into a pit of all sorts of emotions and so on some level am entertaining the
mind, even though yes, seeing something ‘real’. So I’ve learned to ‘relax’
within this point by just not allowing myself to get too swallowed up by the ‘vastness’,
but more giving myself a break from it all. Not being defined by it. Cause at
the end of the day, it’s still just programming and I decide if it’s going to
define me or not.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.desteni.org/" style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #a463b9; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-decoration-line: none;">www.desteni.org</a><br style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #595454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><a href="http://www.desteniiprocess.com/" style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #a463b9; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-decoration-line: none;">www.desteniiprocess.com</a><br style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #595454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><a href="http://www.destonians.com/" style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #a463b9; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-decoration-line: none;">www.destonians.com</a><br style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #595454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><a href="http://www.eqafe.com/" style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #a463b9; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-decoration-line: none;">www.eqafe.com</a></p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-68546096078764535582020-09-29T16:59:00.001-07:002020-09-29T16:59:04.158-07:00Relaxation is... To SLOW DOWN!<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijZ4ZGsi-s_AWP1lR5Aqol3ljhIwgxw-c4O8aWC0Y8SAvUUpuyzYK3t-4v0gm8CkwbcNW8bZzb7UfFTDUcywA5DNL0yBNBdkDXO8vek3xMNOdhUT6NYgm3bOBpr8NwqA7to_zq3Rt00aJn/s811/DeepRelaxationTips-811.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="289" data-original-width="811" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijZ4ZGsi-s_AWP1lR5Aqol3ljhIwgxw-c4O8aWC0Y8SAvUUpuyzYK3t-4v0gm8CkwbcNW8bZzb7UfFTDUcywA5DNL0yBNBdkDXO8vek3xMNOdhUT6NYgm3bOBpr8NwqA7to_zq3Rt00aJn/w654-h233/DeepRelaxationTips-811.jpg" width="654" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p> This is a continuation of my previous post "<a href="https://kim-reisnaarleven.blogspot.com/2020/09/relaxation-is-not-doing-anything.html">Relaxation is... Not Doing Anything</a>"<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">So in my previous blog I wrote about this ‘business’, with
always hopping from one thing to another, always in a rush and a hurry, trying
to do a million things at once. And how to relax is to essentially bring the
focus more ‘here’, rather than ‘everywhere else’. To ‘not do anything’, as in
to be Ok with just being here. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now I have noticed myself going into that ‘rushedness’
especially when I am at work. Where, I’ve found myself rushing and hurrying
through my tasks and responsibilities EVEN when there is no need for me to do
that. When I can get the same things done in the time that I have without
rushing myself. I can take my time, do things at my own pace, more taking it
easy, while still getting everything done that I need to get done. So why all
the hurry?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What I’ve realized is that my starting point for
hurrying/rushing myself in every moment, is this belief in the back of my mind
that ‘I am not good enough’. A belief that I must prove myself. That I must
prove that I am effective and efficient and fast and good at what I do. Like I
actually believe that I’m pretty shit at everything, so I must sort of ‘over-perform’
through rushing and putting in MUCH MORE effort than is required into
everything I do so I can ‘prove’ to people: ‘Look! I can do this! I am good at
this! I am not shit!’</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So there is a constant focus on ‘other people’. Within that
point of ‘I must prove myself’ to people, and ‘must show people’ what I’m made
of. But obviously no matter what I do, no matter how efficient and effective
and fast and good I prove myself to be, it really makes no difference. Its not
like I ever reach a point where I can ‘finally accept myself’ and finally relax
and be content with myself. I just keep on looping in that rushed state, never
good enough, never relaxing, never satisfied with myself.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So with the point of ‘relaxing’ this is something I’ve been
having to take on. To really catch myself each time I access this state, which
is all the time lol, and slow myself down and look at where within myself am I
in this belief that ‘I’m not good enough’ and that ‘I must prove myself to
others’? And the reason why this is such a ‘tricky’ point and why it’s been so
difficult to change within it, is because it is a negative hiding behind a
positive. The ‘rushedness’ actually feels like a positive experience. An
adrenaline. It makes me feel ‘good’. It makes me feel good about myself, for a
moment, as I am busy ‘proving myself’ – so there is a ‘reward’ there. Or at
least the experience of it. But it actually does quite a number on my body. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And it’s been my body that’s been showing me: ‘hey! Slow
down girl! Look at what you’re doing to yourself, by not looking at your
starting point behind this rushedness!’ Because, the thing is that I was coping
just fine! Lol I was just fine not slowing myself down and not working on my
relationship with myself, in terms of self-acceptance. It was working for me,
to lose myself in the rushedness energy as my ‘compensation’ for my inner
accepted ‘inferiority’. So my body stepped in and took a stand and went ‘no
more!’, and so now forcing me to walk and change this point the hard way,
through pain, because I wasn’t doing it on my own. That’s consequence for ya.
It’s in the things you don’t tend to question.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So it’s now a painstaking process for me to really do the
thing I have been avoiding all this time. To SLOW DOWN lol. Take responsibility
for my relationship with myself. Stop hiding behind the rushedness energy, and
work on how I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be inferior
and not good enough. To stop coping and start actually resolving and correcting
and changing. To stop being so gullible when it comes to energy and start
taking responsibility for what I’m accepting and allowing. So, thank you body
lol. It’s a kick in the butt. But one I needed, evidently.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.desteni.org/" style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #a463b9; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-decoration-line: none;">www.desteni.org</a><br style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #595454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><a href="http://www.desteniiprocess.com/" style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #a463b9; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-decoration-line: none;">www.desteniiprocess.com</a><br style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #595454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><a href="http://www.destonians.com/" style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #a463b9; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-decoration-line: none;">www.destonians.com</a><br style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #595454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><a href="http://www.eqafe.com/" style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #a463b9; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-decoration-line: none;">www.eqafe.com</a></p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-69499698313766848242020-09-28T14:24:00.002-07:002020-09-28T14:24:05.099-07:00Relaxation is... Not Doing Anything<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaVRO0-JuAjoSVSkAvhslc1jkdX84qvDsuv7rP1RS_ka8CadQDvOatYgA9RhnlRpGiukMtTNEDYk1g_tx4llN9VxSGaQgqdxAs92eWLrWoecQvNzbKbvzaYYGtptcbZWYrg0znmviLBWrj/s1940/relax-on-bed-pmr-56b750ab5f9b5829f83841fc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1091" data-original-width="1940" height="273" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaVRO0-JuAjoSVSkAvhslc1jkdX84qvDsuv7rP1RS_ka8CadQDvOatYgA9RhnlRpGiukMtTNEDYk1g_tx4llN9VxSGaQgqdxAs92eWLrWoecQvNzbKbvzaYYGtptcbZWYrg0znmviLBWrj/w485-h273/relax-on-bed-pmr-56b750ab5f9b5829f83841fc.jpg" width="485" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p> </p><p>This is a continuation of my previous post "<a href="https://kim-reisnaarleven.blogspot.com/2020/09/relaxation-is-understanding-people.html">Relaxation is...Understanding People</a>"<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">Or, let me rephrase that. It’s to not do any of the things
that your thoughts tell you to do. I’ve certainly always had that feeling
within myself that somehow things are not ‘enough’. That whatever I’m doing, or
whatever I have, or have achieved and done and accomplished, isn’t ‘enough’. I
must do MORE! I must do BETTER! I’m not good enough yet! And it does create
just a ‘generalized anxiety’ experience in me.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So relaxation is to not ‘do’ any of that. To be Ok with not
doing anything. Or rather, to only just do the simple things. The things that
support you in your life. The essentials. And ignore the constant ‘bubbling’
thoughts that come up with this excitement/anxiety attached to it, going ‘hey
what about this?’, ‘and what about that?’, and ‘we could do this!’ or ‘we
should do that!’</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It’s to ‘take it easy’. Find out what life and living is
really about, without what the mind is constantly trying to tell me about what
it means to ‘live’, which is apparently to do this, and that, and the next
thing. Which more then actually ends up fuelling emotional/feeling energy, and
more thoughts and excitement/anxiety, than support me with being settled and
grounded within myself. It’s like just attention diversion the whole time. Like
hey lets place all of your attention on all these different things you
apparently should be doing, so you don’t recognize or realize what it really
means to LIVE. So you don’t get that living is to be HERE. To let all of that
go, and BE.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Like, who are you even under all that constant chatter and
rushedness and never feeling ‘good enough’, and the constant sense of having to
prove yourself? Or what will you find if you were able to let go of all that?
If you stop TRYING to be ‘good enough’ by doing a million things at once. Me, I
don’t know lol. But I’m going to find out.</p>
Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-38062995219180941432020-09-28T06:06:00.003-07:002020-09-28T06:06:48.933-07:00Relaxation is... Understanding People<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGQJWrU7HxZ3ObpPPbUwGyUYUztF40MxCEsm9Cy-9pWlpaj_80Kz5mwXo5l9jJEC8tOfeiaRR3shQvW5qfAmNMqnYgmFWzQE-yTDb66LfiB2TJAup-6afXhUqSDVyxzQ9deqpsJxcck05s/s1280/relaxation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGQJWrU7HxZ3ObpPPbUwGyUYUztF40MxCEsm9Cy-9pWlpaj_80Kz5mwXo5l9jJEC8tOfeiaRR3shQvW5qfAmNMqnYgmFWzQE-yTDb66LfiB2TJAup-6afXhUqSDVyxzQ9deqpsJxcck05s/w503-h283/relaxation.jpg" width="503" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>This is a continuation of my previous post "<a href="https://kim-reisnaarleven.blogspot.com/2020/09/relaxation-is.html">Relaxation is...</a>"</p><p>So fear of people. My experience with people is that I've always been very 'sensitive', as in very easily taking people's reactions personally and very easily feeling hurt, rejected, pushed away, judged - and feeling quite conflicted within myself between this polarity of on the one hand wanting to be liked, be friends, get along, be kind and strive for a sense of togetherness with people, while on the other hand taking it so very personally when people appear to not want or strive for the same things, or are sometimes downright hurtful and reactive, taking their reactions out on me. Where I'd be like 'why?! What have I done to deserve this?! I've done nothing but be kind and nice and friendly!' Where I'd then push people away as a way of 'self-protection', as I feel I 'can't trust people'.</p><p>So it's always this whole dynamic that plays out in my mind which leaves me feeling quite 'out of sorts' inside myself when I'm around people, and just uncomfortable - and having made the decision that I don't actually like to be around people, because of this whole experience. Because I fear their mind, and their reactions. Needless to say it certainly doesn't allow me to RELAX, as I am in a constant state of being 'on edge'.</p><p>Something I have found supportive in this, whenever a person is reacting to me in some way - or when I am interpreting their expression in a way that makes me feel hurt or attacked or pushed away, as though they are reacting to me - is to place them within me for a moment, or place myself in their shoes, to see who they are inside themselves. This way I've found I can always understand better what is going on, as I've found that my 'taking things personally' is always coming from a lack of understanding where people are coming from and what is going on within and behind a person's behavior. So my mind will 'fill in the blanks' by way of making it 'personal', in terms of personal reactions of thoughts, emotions and feelings within myself.</p><p>And I've realized every time that either the person wasn't reacting to me as much as they were just in some personality design and so were reacting to themselves in some way, like a personality design of awkwardness, insecurity or frustration, or yes they were reacting to 'me', but more because they were projecting something of themselves onto me and so again, were just existing in their own 'mind-bubble'. So this point of 'understanding' has certainly been key in developing my own 'sovereignty' so to speak. In terms of my ability to 'be my own person' and not feel so 'cornered' and threatened all the time around people. But rather being able to 'relax' a bit more. Basically being my own person through seeing how other people are their own person. And so nothing is 'personal'.</p><p>Similarly I've also found this technique of placing the person inside me to be supportive when it comes to expressing myself and communicating with people, as that has also been quite a great point of stress for me throughout my life. Where I'd get all sorts of anxious and insecure inside myself pretty much anytime I'd try to say anything to people. By placing them within me, I can immediately get a feel of the kind of person they are and 'what they need' so to speak. As in, how I can most effectively communicate with them in a way that's most supportive for them. It'll feel more 'natural' for me to express myself actually as well, as though my body and my self aligns itself with the person in a sort of dance or flow of expression - expressing exactly what is 'needed' in the context of who that person is. And so in the context of support as what is 'best for all'. And I don't need to think about it, there's no reactions or fears or worries involved. It's all quite natural and relaxed. And I never end up judging myself or feeling insecure about how I expressed myself, because I could see and understand exactly how my expression was 'specific' to who that person was. </p><p>This is all still 'moments' though at this point. It's points I'm still practicing and developing. And I have my 'good days and bad days'. Days when it comes more easily to apply this, and days when I'm overall feeling more insecure and reactive within myself and I kind of 'forget' about this application. Where I'm more 'sensitive' to react and take things personally, and just being less 'directive' with myself and just spending more time in my mind. And my mind will definitely take advantage of that, to 'power up' a lot of emotional personalities within me of insecurity and hurt in relation to people. So it's important to stay focused on living the solution and integrating these techniques and applications as new ways of living, in place of the old ways of emotional reacting and taking things personally.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #595454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><a href="http://www.desteni.org/" style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #a463b9; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-decoration-line: none;">www.desteni.org</a><br style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #595454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><a href="http://www.desteniiprocess.com/" style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #a463b9; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-decoration-line: none;">www.desteniiprocess.com</a><br style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #595454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><a href="http://www.destonians.com/" style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #a463b9; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-decoration-line: none;">www.destonians.com</a><br style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #595454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" /><a href="http://www.eqafe.com/" style="background-color: #f6c866; color: #a463b9; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-decoration-line: none;">www.eqafe.com</a></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-24333338978115682212020-09-24T22:13:00.001-07:002020-09-24T22:13:04.753-07:00Relaxation is...<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOPXIKrtN7KMmHQ3f_4I3mSEmHb5inMpORy_BGCqJ6yVBz6SD21-1_ZM-bheKQ2j98Fgyx6_UBvdDztxv3-YtclHfFt3FBidg9nmgMObO3N2iAF5aiuQUQJeE7ev299_6oajuBqMh7Li5Q/s626/relaxed-woman-enjoying-sea_1098-1441.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="417" data-original-width="626" height="338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOPXIKrtN7KMmHQ3f_4I3mSEmHb5inMpORy_BGCqJ6yVBz6SD21-1_ZM-bheKQ2j98Fgyx6_UBvdDztxv3-YtclHfFt3FBidg9nmgMObO3N2iAF5aiuQUQJeE7ev299_6oajuBqMh7Li5Q/w507-h338/relaxed-woman-enjoying-sea_1098-1441.jpg" width="507" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p>So there's this one point that keeps coming back in my process. Which is that I need to RELAX. And it keeps coming back meaning that I will see the utmost importance of having to relax for me specifically, as i will in a moment see the extensive amount of stress and pressure I and my body is on in general and how it's destroying my body specifically. And I'll be like 'oh shit I need to find a way to relax!' and realize that needs to be my absolute priority in my process. </p><p>But then somehow, that 'utmost importance' sort of fades and after a while I find myself at the same point only worse this time because I did not listen and so have now put even more strain on my body - rather than having actually focused and worked on the solution, being: relaxation. I always find more, and other things important. Like oh I need to do writing and self-forgiveness, and color readings, and this and that and the other thing. Focusing on all these different things that I 'need to do' and completely losing track of what I realized as actually important.</p><p>So this time what came up was this experience of just being so 'tired'. My body being tired. Me being tired. So tired that I'm ready to just give up and call it quits. I'm ready to die. 'I can't go on fighting anymore'. And it kind of frightened me in a way, this experience. Because, I don't get depressed. But this was like legit depression on a very physical level. And so I had a look at what have I been doing to myself to get myself to that point? For that to be my actual experience on a physical level. And I realized I've been working myself up so much again. So much stress and so much pressure again, that I'd been accepting and allowing within me on a constant bases.</p><p>So this prompted me to look at: Ok how to RELAX? And what does it mean to 'relax'? Is it just doing some meditation techniques every once in a while or is there more to it? I realized that to relax for me is mostly to accept myself. To stop looking for 'more'. To be content with where I'm at and where my life is at. To stop trying to force things because I'm thinking that my life should be different. So what if I'm working a 'dead end job'? So what if I am working six days a week? So what if that is all there is and possibly will ever be to my life?</p><p>To relax is to be content with how things are. To not be in that survival mode of thinking about the future and having and needing to create something 'more' and 'better'. I mean yes I can obviously create something different for myself and direct my life, but it won't be based on any survival based energy drive. It'll be a point of self-expression and -enjoyment. And for that, I need to first settle in and be content with where I'm at right now, and embrace that. Because, maybe all the things that I've been focusing on to try and 'make more of my life and self', isn't even really what is best for me per se and isn't really aligned with my self-expression. Because part of my starting point has been this point of 'I want more'. And that can really smother self-expression and -enjoyment.</p><p>What's important for me is to not have 'more', but to actually let go and sort of sink into what is HERE and, it sounds cliche but, finding the 'more' in what's already here. And for me that means walking through and releasing the points of stress and pressure and finding that point of 'relaxing'. Through for instance, as and while I am working, being in the moment. Not going into that 'rushing' experience I so easily slip into. Where I'm busy working on a million things at once. And am juggling many different ideas of all the things I could still do. And I'm already thinking about the next thing. And am really sort of on my tail 'as though the very whips of my masters were behind me'.</p><p>A lot of which also has to do with memory programming where during my childhood I was in a way 'rushed' in that sense, or rather felt that I was. And felt as though I could not relax, because relaxing and 'taking it easy' was in a way seen as 'laziness'. So now there is the greatest resistance to taking it slow and easy and steady within 'relaxing'. Where for instance I pay attention to what I am realistically able to handle, or simply move at the pace of the physical breath and don't rush myself through my tasks using adrenaline energy, trying to get everything done at once. So that I found was something that's come up with forcing myself to take it slow. A fear of being seen as 'lazy', and a belief that people would JUDGE my 'relaxing' as 'laziness' and something 'bad'. Even though, I'm still getting the job done. I am just moving at a slightly slower pace as I am just being more considerate of what I am realistically physically able to do from moment to moment without straining myself. And so am not 'miss perfect' anymore who magically gets everything done and more, but am also more 'relaxed' with how I do my tasks. </p><p>Another point that's come up that's been contributing to my constant stress-level, is a 'fear of people'. But that's something to open up for my next blog.</p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-29272074677664682822020-09-16T23:45:00.002-07:002020-09-16T23:45:22.586-07:00RESPONSIBILITY<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio59OBeLqZLLyDiYgDGT8M1mv0tob9HJ670XXL0VswUJYrvsUFAOvLhrZ7leohKyJ5RCu3Nb8xUUmFhGKRex1MmRB1Y8_XaCTYLjAp7vK-FdRU0MNmbJk4o-oiecjnpds-L1PB06JjILql/s320/Greek+Diety+Atlas+Carrying+the+World+on+his+Shoulder.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="272" data-original-width="320" height="331" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio59OBeLqZLLyDiYgDGT8M1mv0tob9HJ670XXL0VswUJYrvsUFAOvLhrZ7leohKyJ5RCu3Nb8xUUmFhGKRex1MmRB1Y8_XaCTYLjAp7vK-FdRU0MNmbJk4o-oiecjnpds-L1PB06JjILql/w390-h331/Greek+Diety+Atlas+Carrying+the+World+on+his+Shoulder.jpg" width="390" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p> i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am responsible for everything and everyone around me</p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I alone am responsible for EVERYTHING that is here</p><p>I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am alone in my responsibility for everything that exists - even though there are clearly a lot of other beings around me in this reality</p><p>I forgive myself that i havent accepted and allowed myself to consider that perhaps those beings are also equally responsible for what is here as reality - and that i am not alone responsible for everything </p><p>i forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to recognize that equality with the beings that exist here in and as reality -- by believing myself to be ALONE responsible, as if the world rests on my shoulders and everything is my task and responsibility, and I must save everyone and everything and fix everything and feel guilty about everything that goes wrong --- instead of seeing and realizing and understanding that everything is the responsibility of all of us beings participating in all that's here - and that I am not alone in that responsibility</p><p>i forgive myself that i havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that even though I have always believed myself to be 'alone responsible' and have taken all that responsibility for EVERYTHING on my shoulders -- I never ACTUALLY took responsibility, in terms of actually simply living and existing in a way that is best for this physical world and reality, because the 'responsibility' was actually more a 'feeling', an 'emotion' and a thought -- rather than an actual LIVING WORD</p><p>i forgive myself that i havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that responsibility as a living word is not to try and place the whole world on my shoulders and then feel overwhelmed by the immensity of that 'responsibility', that i can't actually possibly carry alone - but is actually about the simple and small actions -- about the simple physical actions of taking care of my environment and seeing what my immediate environment needs and how I can contribute to a better world through simple everyday actions -- rather than believing that I am responsible for THE WHOLE WORLD, which actually just makes me feel defeated and makes me feel like giving up and crumbling and falling inside myself because theres just no way that i could take on that responsibility that i've placed on myself</p><p>i forgive myself that i havent accepted and allowed myself to live the word responsibility within and as a simple physical level that is REAL within and as the simple everyday actions that will contribute to a world that's best for all -- where i actually do what I as one individual am practically, physically able to do and achieve, rather than trying to do the impossible or expecting the impossible of myself</p><p>I forgive myself that i havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that to live responsibility is actually if anything, to just focus on what I am personally able to do within the context of my life - and to leave the rest up to other people --- to let other people take their own personal responsibility -- rather than me trying to take the responsibility out of everybody's hands within the belief that I should be taking responsibility for EVERYTHING, instead of seeing and realizing and understanding that that just would make other people LAZY and not take the responsibility that is actually theirs to take, and would thus actually cause the world to fall in disarray as nobody takes their responsibility, while I try to take ALL the responsibility</p><p>I forgive myself that i havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that what is best for all is for each being to take their responsibility for this world and reality -- for all of us to equally take responsibility, rather than some not taking any and others trying to compensate and pick up others' slack</p><p>i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it's all in my hands and that i am alone responsible to save the world</p><p>i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel defeated and disempowered because i obviously am not physically practically able to take responsibility for the whole world - to do everything - and fix and solve all the worlds problems</p><p>i forgive myself that i havent accepted and allowed myself to give up all that responsibility - and allow others to take the responsibility that is actually theirs - and to make sure that my responsibility simply consists of what I as an individual am able to practically realistically do in my everyday actions, and realize that anything 'more' than that is an illusion -- and is just me in the mind BELIEVING that somehow i am responsible for EVERYTHING</p><p>i forgive myself that i havent accepted and allowed myself to just keep it simple and just look at the small ways in my everyday life that i can take responsibility and that i can contribute to a world that's best - realizing and seeing and understanding that my world, as my direct environment is the only thing i am able to take responsibility for --- everything else is other people's responsibility. - and that my actions only really matter within my immediate environment</p><p>i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to play this emotionally charged game with myself where i basically go and look at the entire world and believe that I am personally, alone responsible for EVERYTHING that is happening in the world - and am alone responsible to fix all of it, and that if i cannot, then I am a 'failure' -- where i generate and go into a LOT of intense emotions of defeatism, giving up, despair, powerlessness, disempowerment, fear, anxiety, overwhelmedness, sadness, guilt, etcetera, and not to mention self-judgment --- instead of seeing and realizing and understanding that that is the illusion of 'responsibility' within the mind as defined within thoughts and emotions --- rather than realizing and seeing that whatever i am seeing playing out in the world, it is not my responsibility, in terms of it doesnt ALL rest on my shoulders -- it is a 'joint' responsibility, a 'joint' creation of all of us beings in this world - and that my personal responsibility is to just do what i can to act in ways within my immediate environment that will CONTRIBUTE to a world that is best for all, and to be a living example to other beings so they may also take their responsibility, and through the 1+1+1+1 equation we will change the world --- rather than trying to do EVERYTHING and then ending up just completely confused and all over the place and wanting to give up</p><p>i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even consider OVERWHELMING myself like that - and putting all of that 'responsibility' on my shoulders, that apparently I have to take care of THE WHOLE WORLD, all on my own - where i then feel like I'm just crumbling inside under all that immense and impossible pressure --- instead of being real, and reasonable and realistic with myself and seeing, realizing and understanding that OBVIOUSLY my only responsibility is the one that I am realistically able to take, anything 'more' than that is the mind playing games with me, getting me to lose myself within emotions</p><p>i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even consider believing that i am ALONE here in this world and reality -- and alone responsible for what happens to this world and reality -- instead of opening my eyes and seeing that I am NOT alone, that in fact there are many many beings around me who are all equally responsible for this world -- and that I must realize and understand what is my personal responsibility and what is another's responsibility --- so that i don't end up accepting 'laziness' or rather 'abdication' of responsibility from others just because i am existing in some delusion of believing that I should be responsible for EVERYTHING</p><p>I forgive myself that i havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that by living and defining the word responsibility in and as the mind - i have actually been abdicating and neglecting my ACTUAL responsibility on a physical level -- as i havent simply been focusing on the simple physical everyday acts that DO in fact make a difference and where I am personally able to CONTRIBUTE to a world that is best for all, within and as the 1+1+1+1 equation -- simply through how I choose to live in my personal life and environment</p><p>I forgive myself that i havent accepted and allowed myself to 'keep it simple' and to simply purely look at my own life and environment, where i personally have an impact -- and so to not necessarily look at 'the world' -- but more just stick to what is 'real', in terms of where I actually can have a real impact, which is in my immediate physical environment, and to just make sure that I am living within my immediate environment in a way that contribute to a world that is best for all</p><p>i forgive myself that i havent accepted and allowed myself to RELAX and essentially let go of all of that pressure that i've been placing on my shoulders -- the WORLD that i've been placing on my shoulders - and realize that 'the world' that I am responsible for, is purely and simply my own direct physical environment and the beings in it, because that is what I am realistically capable of taking responsibility for, in terms of deciding and directing my impact and influence --- and to trust that other beings will take their responsibility in oneness and equality with myself, for their own 'world' -- so that we are all a '+1' in the 1+1+1+1 equation and through each taking responsibility for their immediate environment, creating a world that is best as this whole physical world and reality</p><p>I forgive myself that i havent accepted and allowed myself to be simply HERE - as in simply present and connected with my own physical environment - as where my responsibility exists -- and so to let go of anything that is not of that immediate physical environment - and accept and realize that the rest, is someone else's responsibility, basically, as we all have our own location points in this physical world, and are personally responsible for those location points that we find ourselves in</p><p>i forgive myself that i havent accepted and allowed myself to actually look into and investigate my world - as in my immediate physical environment as my personal responsibility --- by defining my 'responsibility' within and as the mind in and as this picture of THE WHOLE WORLD, and connected with all these emotional experiences of disempowerment and defeatism</p><p>i forgive myself that i havent accepted and allowed myself to - instead of attempting the impossible and wasting time focusing on what's 'out there' as 'the rest of the world' - focus on my actual physical world and what exists within my immediate physical reality as there where I can in fact have an impact and make a difference -- my physical world and the beings in it --- and to correct and direct my relationships within that world and reality, realizing and seeing and understanding that my only responsibility exists within those relationships -- not anywhere 'out there' - but in fact 'right here' with the beings that form part of my physical reality</p><p>i forgive myself that i havent accepted and allowed myself to place my focus where my actual power is - in my immediate physical world and environment - and to let go of any thoughts of 'the rest of the world' -- but rather realize that all i can do is make sure that when it comes to my immediate environment, I act in ways that are best and have the best outcome for all</p><p><br /></p><p>i see and realize and understand that when it comes to 'responsibility', there is an equality, where each and every being in this world and reality is EQUALLY responsible for themselves and their surroundings -- dependent on their personal CAPACITY to take responsibility -- and that my responsibility is within where i am capable of taking responsibility --- within my personal capacity to act in ways that will contribute to and create a world that's best for all</p><p>i see and realize and understand that i am not personally and alone responsible for THE WHOLE WORLD -- that i am not even ALONE responsible for my personal environment -- because I simply do not exist alone, but am surrounded by millions and billions of other beings, big and small, that all have their own personal responsibility as well -- where my personal responsibility is more just related to myself, to ensure that I act in ways, in every moment, that will contribute to and create a world that is best for all -- and to thus be part of the 1+1+1+1 equality equation -- and that i must thus let go of this mind point of trying to take responsibility for others and for EVERYTHING, and trust that others will also take their own responsibility in oneness and equality with myself</p><p>i see and realize and understand that any 'responsibility' that goes beyond or is more than just what i am purely simplistically practically and physically capable of - is an illusion in the mind and is more just designed to generate emotional experiences for me to lose myself in -- where i then end up actually abdicating and neglecting my REAL responsibility with regards to my immediate environment, as I am no longer present and aware and connected with my physical environment, but rather lost in the mind somewhere</p><p>i see and realize and understand that I am simply a +1 within the 1+1+1+1 equation - I am not the entire equation -- because I do not exist alone</p><p>I commit myself to live the word responsibility in the way that it actually matters and is actually real - and so to get out of this mind illusion of believing myself to be responsible for EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE in this whole wide world -- but rather simply take responsibility for myself, meaning for my physical actions and presence and to just make sure that I act in ways that contribute to a world that's best for all - and that i am a +1 in the 1+1+1+1 equation</p><p>i commit myself to place my focus where it matters - rather than concerning myself with 'the rest of the world' -- but to more realize and understand that the most impact i have on the world is when I direct my immediate physical environment and live as an example of what is best in all ways </p><p>i commit myself to also support others to realize their personal responsibility by letting go of the belief that i am responsible for others -- and by thus allowing others to take responsibility for themselves - so we can all equally stand responsible for this world</p><p>i commit myself to let go of any concern or worry about anything or anyone other than and outside of myself - as i see and realize and understand that really my only responsibility and so my only worry and concern should be ME - and other beings are their own responsibility - to make sure that we all, within our own individual location point, live and stand in ways that are best for all</p><p><br /></p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-66296260635138132072020-08-22T17:47:00.001-07:002020-08-22T17:47:42.628-07:00Do you CARE?<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBAbMrBdTGO0U__h60xTGTFm203_nMurtHGFzjwykwyLtWUIdZeS809S_EPhohRY0UglaUv057Ml_0R6-e2VXdCDZ8xHM3Uil6TiXJRjH6GJDGkp_R8XHguURUOJT7Vt-WbY6hmpKxFeUm/s926/image-20150716-26314-1gdxeku.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="613" data-original-width="926" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBAbMrBdTGO0U__h60xTGTFm203_nMurtHGFzjwykwyLtWUIdZeS809S_EPhohRY0UglaUv057Ml_0R6-e2VXdCDZ8xHM3Uil6TiXJRjH6GJDGkp_R8XHguURUOJT7Vt-WbY6hmpKxFeUm/s640/image-20150716-26314-1gdxeku.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p>This is a continuation of my previous post "<a href="https://kim-reisnaarleven.blogspot.com/2020/08/id-like-to-go-back-now-please.html">I'd like to go back now please</a>"</p><p><br /></p><p>A point that I've been looking at recently, is to 'place myself first'. From the perspective that, I've realized that although I have always put my focus on who and how I am in relation to my environment, I need to actually be focusing on who and how I am in relation to myself. I never realized that, while I can be the sweetest, most gentle, understanding, supportive and careful person in relation to everybody around me, I am actually the meanest, most spiteful, nasty and hateful person in relation to myself. In terms of the thoughts and the energies and reactions that I allow and do onto myself is just awful, and it's all of the things that I would never allow myself to do onto anyone else.</p><p>Because I always believed that, as long as I am good to others, it really doesn't matter how I treat myself inside. Kind of thinking 'it's just me anyways, what does it matter'. Thinking/believing that I don't matter, that I come last and that all of my nastiness and spitefulness and hatefulness I can just take out on myself, where it apparently 'doesn't matter'. So I've come to realize that my process of proving myself to be 'worthy of life', is not in relation to others, but in relation to myself. My challenge is in relation to myself, which is what I've extensively taken for granted and neglected and abused throughout my life. I'm fine in relation to others lol, it's in relation to myself that I need to prove that I can be a 'decent' person. That I can be all the things that I am always trying so hard to be to everyone else. </p><p>And so, this ushered in my process of 'placing myself first', of making a commitment with myself, and learning to prove to myself that I stand as what's best for all of life, as ME. But with that, an interesting point has come up. The point of 'care'. As in the belief that, if I'm going to be placing all my focus and attention on 'me' and am going to 'place myself first', that I will be 'selfish' and that it means that 'I don't care about anyone else'. So that's been a point of conflict that's come up within me. Of 'oh no, I don't want to be selfish!' I wouldn't want people to think that I don't care!</p><p>So I've had to ask myself - or realize - 'what is care really?' And what does it really mean to care? Cause when I am 'placing myself first', I'm not just placing 'me' in separation of everyone else first. I am placing 'life as me' first. So that means that what I am placing first, is the life that is within me and equally as one within everybody else. The 'life' that is at the core of each and every one. The life that, when it comes to human beings, is layered within the mind. Where we as humans may for instance believe that we 'care' because we participate within particular feeling/thought/emotional/behavioral constructs, yet actually if we really had a look, when it comes to 'life on earth in oneness and equality' we don't actually care. We don't actually do anything. We don't actually discuss solutions. We don't actually take action to bring about a world that is best for all. To bring about world change. </p><p>So it's interesting, that that belief or perception exists, that to participate within thought/feeling/emotional/behavioral constructs and to 'be just like everybody else' means that I care - because I am apparently placing all of my focus on everybody around me and so apparently 'not being selfish'. Yet reality is actually in reverse, because at the end of the day if I have a look at my actions, I am not actually actively bringing about a world that is best for all, and so I don't actually care. Because if I really cared about life on earth, about the life within the 'life-forms' around me, then I would be taking action in every moment to address the MASSIVE problems we are facing in this world. I would NOT be 'like everybody else'. Because, 'everybody else' - or rather 'nobody else' - is actually talking about those problems. Nobody else seems to be taking anything seriously in terms of what's happening in this world and reality. </p><p>Nobody else, or should I say me lol, within how I've always used to define the word 'care' - to only exist in the context of separation. In the context of only my family and my loved ones and close ones and immediate environment. As though I'm not entirely part of existence. Part of this world and part of life as a whole. Where care is more a construct of thoughts/feelings/emotions/behavior. More a sort of façade and something I BELIEVE I'm doing, yet am not ACTUALLY doing.</p><p>So to 'focus on me' and 'place myself first' - is more actually to focus on 'all of life' within and as me. To not be 'distracted' with just my immediate 'personal' environment. But to always place 'all of life' within me, within and as the point of 'oneness' - wherein yes I stand 'alone', as in 'all-one'. And yes I am 'selfish' but in the context of 'my-self-as-life' so it's a good kind of selfishness. It is a selfishness that's based within real CARE. </p><p>And yes it certainly seems to be the exact reverse of what I always believed 'care' to be - in terms of ONLY being distracted by the people in my immediate environment, as MY family, MY friends and MY self, and sort of ruling out the rest of the world. And so it's the opposite of what I've basically learned throughout my life to believe is 'right'. Yet at the same time it is common sense and there is no denying that. It is just absolutely weird that it seems so far removed from the sort of 'human way of existing'. It is 'weird', yet it is the only thing that makes sense. Weird indeed.</p><p><br /></p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-65811061188962522812020-08-21T16:11:00.001-07:002020-08-21T16:11:06.202-07:00I'd like to go back now please<p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXk8YVT6J-dUgyZU87XU_ICgOG8Y0ZZm51cnrQ91upTp2mpAufW-cb9slVvd0WMvSDQojHkNQyQcbd6KnT7rXK_nVvCItmHYfNH1pTiQfULCskKp-u5ZRoy5yVqoR0ia6FS3EUbIEhlhms/s600/awakening.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="600" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXk8YVT6J-dUgyZU87XU_ICgOG8Y0ZZm51cnrQ91upTp2mpAufW-cb9slVvd0WMvSDQojHkNQyQcbd6KnT7rXK_nVvCItmHYfNH1pTiQfULCskKp-u5ZRoy5yVqoR0ia6FS3EUbIEhlhms/w480-h360/awakening.jpg" width="480" /></a></div> <p></p><p> This is a continuation of my previous post "<a href="https://kim-reisnaarleven.blogspot.com/2020/08/support.html">Support</a>"<br /></p><p> I've noticed an interesting point or 'program' come up lately. Alongside this process I've been walking of sort of sinking deeper and deeper into the nitty gritty of reality. The real deal, and really coming to grips with the severity of the issues in existence as myself.</p><p>There is this point, as almost this belief that 'oh I could just go back to being completely ignorant and suppressed and blissfully unaware of what's really going on if I wanted to'. Like a 'back-door' or a 'fail-safe' in the mind. As if I have a choice. I mean obviously I do always have a choice, whether to 'face the music' of and as reality, or whether to pretend to be blind and unaware. You do always have the choice to 'go back' and choose the mind and pretend that process isn't real, and all the things you've realized and seen and walked were 'just a dream' in a way. And that what's real is the mind, where things feel cozy and comfortable and there's not a cloud in the sky.<br /></p><p>And in a way so far my process has been 'easy'. Walking the conscious mind, the subconscious mind has been 'easy'. But it's with walking the unconscious mind, or the quantum physical, or whatever it is that I've been walking more recently, that things have been more 'tough'. And that I've come to understand as well that this is not going to be a 'walk in the park'. And that there is a lot of pain and suffering within existence, a lot of deep separation and a lot of 'challenges' ahead.</p><p>So anyways I've just been noticing this very 'subtle' experience or sneaky little thought sitting there way in the back of my mind. Which also seems specific to my mind perhaps, in terms of how I've always lived in total disconnection. Never quite grasping the seriousness or 'realness' of my actions, and the fact that every action has a consequence. Many times within my process, the main reason why I kept 'falling' back into specific experiences and create timeloop after timeloop, was this sneaky little thought of 'oh whats the harm'. Not realizing or recognizing the seriousness of process. Not having my feet on the ground. And almost believing that at the end of the day, 'nothing really matters'. Not really believing in 'consequences'. Because in the mind, there is no such thing as 'consequences'. Energy as emotions and feelings operates on the very 'principle' that you can 'lose yourself' and there will be no consequences. That 'it's fine' to lose yourself in this feeling/emotion/energy. While, reality is like the opposite of that lol. EVERYTHING has consequences. And that can be a tough pill to swallow when you come from lala-land as all the numerous delusions in the mind and are used to believing you can get away with anything.</p><p>But I did realize that how this sneaky little bastard of a thought is specific to my mind, is that it is just based on FEAR. And that fear is also coming from the mind as some sort of self-protection mechanism. Where the mind will be like 'oh no! You don't want to become aware of reality! You don't want to walk that process! It will be horrible!' lol. And then it will come in with that sneaky thought of 'you can always go baaaack...' as the point of 'comfort'. The 'looking for comfort from my fear'. Instead of simply realizing the fear, realizing it's not real, and just continue walking.<br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.desteni.org/">www.desteni.org</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.desteniiprocess.com/">www.desteniiprocess.com</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.destonians.com/">www.destonians.com</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.eqafe.com/">www.eqafe.com</a></div><p> </p>Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7878601505343931132.post-82094937604685836722020-08-11T14:41:00.000-07:002020-08-11T14:41:03.545-07:00Support<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0bzVN7jSsuSn4gE6Gtv_Vd0nEJoxDoLVs5Ma8Yd9ippJjvUjHTs0HdeL5VR6uGva2T8ZxAARMTXvO1TASoTxHBXc6gCBVQcv3RN9k1sKhy9AUORji8h6HAykfoQFN2Q6LX2rhrnmd2rK1/s1200/how_managers_can_support_mental_health_at_work_940x352.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="1200" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0bzVN7jSsuSn4gE6Gtv_Vd0nEJoxDoLVs5Ma8Yd9ippJjvUjHTs0HdeL5VR6uGva2T8ZxAARMTXvO1TASoTxHBXc6gCBVQcv3RN9k1sKhy9AUORji8h6HAykfoQFN2Q6LX2rhrnmd2rK1/w640-h240/how_managers_can_support_mental_health_at_work_940x352.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> <p></p><p> This is a continuation of my previous post "<a href="https://kim-reisnaarleven.blogspot.com/2020/07/emergency-color-reading.html">Emergency color Reading</a>"<br /></p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">I’ve been finding myself in this point of feeling like ‘I’ve
got nothing to write about’ as the apparent reason why I haven’t been writing
blogs consistently lately. Thinking that oh well maybe I’m just ‘processing
things’ and ‘that’s why’. But, knowing the mind lol, that’s probably not why.
Because, knowing the mind, it’ll always come up with new ways, new excuses,
justifications and ‘reasons’ to get me to not simply do the things that are
supportive. The things that are best. Like writing and blogging consistently.</p><p class="MsoNormal">So with this point of ‘not knowing what to write’, trying to
force it, as in looking for topics or trying to ‘get myself to’ write about
something, usually doesn’t get me anywhere, other than back to the same point
of ‘not being able to’ write about anything. Where I’ll for instance start
writing about some point I’ve been struggling with or looking at, but then that
soon starts to feel like it’s just not quite ‘the’ point. Like usually when I
write a blog, or when I do personal writing as well, there will be ‘a point’
that sort of ‘opens up’. And it will be clear and the words just flow, because
it’s what is ‘here’. It’s ‘the point’. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But in these moments of ‘writer’s block’, it seems that no
matter which ‘point’ I try to address and open up and write about, it’s just
not quite ‘the point’. I am not quite ‘on point’. So then, after a little while
of accepting this ‘writer’s block’, and the reasons, excuses and justifications
in the mind that come with it, I finally realized or thought to myself, ‘oh,
maybe the point of not having anything to write about is the point to write
about’. Maybe there is something there that needs to be opened up, in terms of
why it is I’m feeling this way or what might be ‘getting in the way’ of me
simply doing my writing. And lo and behold, the words are flowing again lol.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, what is it that’s self-honestly been getting in the way
of my writing lately? Maybe the point of not really wanting to be self-honest.
As in, not really wanting to ‘face’ or ‘see’ myself. So what of myself is it
that I am not wanting to face or see? Is there anything that I am feeling
guilty or shameful about? Something I have been judging myself for?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Interestingly, what it looks like is that I feel like I have
been ‘slacking’ in my support of the group. Have not been doing certain things
I had committed myself to do as points of support for the group. Simple points,
like showing up for chats or reading blogs. So there is a ‘shame’ there that I
haven’t been living up to my commitments and that in a way I’ve gone into a
point of ‘neglectfulness’. Not recognizing or realizing the relevance and
importance of these seemingly ‘small’ actions. ‘Small’ actions of support that
contribute to and support ‘the group’. Because I’ve more been focusing on ‘myself’.
Placing more importance on MY achievements and MY successes and MY life. And within
that obviously disregarding the importance of the group.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Kind of seeing my actions and myself as an ‘island’ rather
than realizing that the relevance and importance of my actions exists within
how it supports the group. There is no ‘me as island’. That is the illusion of
consciousness. In the illusion of consciousness it’s all about personal
glorification, while the world burns, basically. The belief that my actions are
my own, and the ‘rewards’ of my actions are my own, and I owe nothing to the
group. While it’s all the reverse, as we don’t recognize all the ways that the
group has been and is supporting us within all our ‘endeavors’. That, without
the group, we wouldn’t be here. We wouldn’t even exist. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So basically I’ve been accepting and allowing thoughts to
seep into my mind of personal glorification. Looking for personal recognition
for my actions, successes and achievements and evolving my ‘I as consciousness’
through thinking about myself. Through comparing myself, and competing with
others. Looking for a sense of ‘victory’, of value and worth, through my
accomplishments.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So it’s interesting that I’ve clearly come to define words
like value and worth, in the context of ‘competition’ and ‘comparison’. Where
in fact my whole starting point in relation to ‘the group’ is that I am already
inferior from the get go, and that I must prove my value and worth through the
accomplishments and achievements I can prove to the group. Because obviously I
am not experiencing unconditional support from the group. Unconditional support
as in, it doesn’t matter what your accomplishments or achievements or successes
are, you are supported as a member of the group in oneness and equality with
everyone else in the group. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And with that, we’ve come full circle as I will obviously
only ‘receive’ what I ‘give’. So if I want unconditional support, then I will
have to give it first. And what that means is to stop comparing, stop competing.
To ‘be there for’ everyone equally and not measure one person against another.
To basically not have that prerequisite of ‘prove your worth first!’, where ‘support’
becomes synonymous with the ‘support’ that we give our celebrities in this
world, which is more a sort of mix between inferiority and admiration. Of yeah
I ‘support’ you, as in I give you all my attention and money. But it’s not
unconditional because as soon as that celebrity isn’t popular anymore or they
grow old or whatever, they lose all that apparent ‘support’ they were getting.
So that kind of ‘support’ is more based on energy and so isn’t real.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So what kind of support would I like for myself? What would
be best for me? That’s what I must start giving to others. In the principle of
giving as I’d like to receive. Support that is equal, trustworthy, consistent,
constant and unconditional. Where I basically must start becoming a lot more ‘considerate’
and ‘aware’ of others. Becoming a lot more in tune with who other people are so
as to assess the kind of ‘support’ that they need. Because ‘equal’ and ‘unconditional’
doesn’t mean ‘all the same thing’. It means within consideration of each being
individually and what is best for that being. </p>
Kim Amourettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07686413067478622734noreply@blogger.com0