Where to Start with Practical Change?

This is a continuation of my previous post "Forgetting Why we Do what we Do"

The performing monkey. You catch a glimpse sometimes of what's really hiding behind everything. And in that one moment letting go of all of it seems like the only thing that makes sense. After all, how could you just go back to things when you see so clearly that it's always been a lie? It seems like, that one realization is like a new breath of life. And you can start all over again. 

But the reality is different. Yes, you have a deeper understanding, and you realized something. And yes, it was substantial and transcendental. BUT, you don't actually transcend the mind by realizing something in just one moment. Because, what is the mind? The mind is a machine that stands equal with the physical body. It's infused into every little part and particle of 'you' within and as the body.

And, just like the body will continue pumping blood and doing it's 'normal routine', so will the mind simply continue it's routine. And, so will you within your body and mind, go back to your routine.

That's why, realizations are worthless. If you really want to change, you need to start getting practical. Figure out how the machine works in real-time and start changing the real-time moments.

How does the machine around the performing monkey programming operate in real-time? And what are the behaviors that I can start practically changing in moments? What behaviors am I doing from a starting point of 'performing', where I'm creating a 'separation' from my expression?

It's not easy, walking this 'real-time' process. Catching myself 'in the act'. Because, as I said, it's all routine. And I've never questioned that routine before. It was 'working for me'. Very dysfunctionally, sure, but it was working enough for me to not feel the need to question it.

Forgetting Why we Do what we Do

This is a continuation of my previous post "Are you Changing on a Physical Level?"

A programming that I have lived in my life is that of a 'performing monkey' lol You know one of those monkey's used by street artists where the monkey has to dance or perform some stupid trick - and it does that because that's the only way to get any food from it's owner?

I've been working with my 'desire for recognition' and when I looked at "what's behind this?", that's what I found lol The 'performing monkey' programming. A conditioning to 'perform' in order to 'get what I want and need'. There's a strong 'need to survive' behind it. Like the monkey you see performing tricks. It's not doing that because it likes the attention or it likes to 'show off'. It's doing that because that's what it has to do to survive.

So imagine my surprise upon seeing this programming 'hiding' behind the desire for recognition. Surprise because, clearly I have become the 'performing monkey' to such an extent that I've forgotten all about the fact that it's not actually 'me'. I don't ACTUALLY want the recognition or attention. I'm doing it for survival. That's where it all started. That's why I started doing it.

Imagine the acceptance of oneself as a slave that has to take place for that monkey to actually believe that it's 'enjoying' the attention. Not just acceptance of oneself as a slave but most importantly the overwhelming despair and hopelessness that would drive that monkey to 'forget' it's real reason for doing what it's doing.

It's very sad really. I did not realize I was living such a sad story. A sadness that feels more like a 'pit of despair'.

Will that monkey ever be able to stop performing? Will it ever realize that its 'owner' is long gone so it doesn't have to perform anymore? Will it ever drop the fear of survival and take a chance on life  the way it always should have been?

Well, this monkey is at least starting to realize it's sad, shackled little life that it's been living. And, that's a start isn't it?