Are you Changing on a Physical Level?

This is a continuation of my previous post "Directed, Influenced and Defined by Desires"

Transcending desires really is just a matter of changing habits. To stop yourself from doing those things which you know are coming from a place of 'addiction'. An addiction to a feeling. So it's to just identify when and where and how you go into behaviors that are motivated by a desire for something. And then, like you are a common addict lol, you need to 'cut yourself off'.

When it comes to those desires, I have actually mostly been focusing on the 'internal stuff' - the thoughts and the reactions that come up in my mind. I've been trying to stop that. But actually now I'm realizing that if I don't change the behavioral patterns then I'm not changing anything at all. If anything I'm actually keeping the fact that I'm not actually changing a secret from myself.

Because, in my mind I'm changing! Or at least that's what it looks like. Actually more often than not what happens is that I end up just suppressing the thoughts and reactions so it 'looks like' I am changing. The change that truly matters is in my physical actions.

The physical is where you 'prove' who you are. It's where real self-honesty exists. You can do what you want in your mind. Thinking and believing that 'you've changed' on the inside. But if you're not changing on a physical level then you're just bullshitting yourself. And, the mind happens to be particularly good at that.

That's why focusing more on physical change is always key, to make sure that you're being self-honest. That the change is real. I've just never really done that lol. I've more hidden myself away in the mind. Hiding my own awareness from me, just so that I could continue participating in certain desires while deluding myself that "I'm changing".

I mean at the end of the day the only one you're fooling is yourself. And it's only so long that you can play that game with yourself before you realize you've just been wasting all this time running in circles cause you basically refused to give up on certain desires. I mean, why not just be direct and honest with yourself about who you are and what you're doing. Do you want to give up on these desires, yes or no? Why make it more difficult for yourself by saying 'yeah I want to change' when in reality you're not actually doing what it takes to in fact change?