Showing posts with label who you really are. Show all posts
Showing posts with label who you really are. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

The Potential Me vs the Actual Me



This is a continuation of my previous post "Let me be Bad"

So there's basically a 'potential you', as in the 'best version of you', but then there's also the 'actual you', as just the 'reality' of how you're existing. And it's kind of like you're existing in the middle of these two, deciding in every moment which one you 'really are'.

But I've found that, when you're not entirely clear with yourself about 'where you're at' within it all, it's sort of easy or 'easier' to 'revert' to 'what you're used to' and 'who and how you've always been'. Which is essentially the 'you' in the mind. Cause it's kind of like, you're not entirely clear about the fact that, you do face a 'choice' in every moment. So you kind of just go into 'default mode'.

So it's good to 'clarify' with yourself what exactly your 'potential' is and what your 'default mode' is. So you can 'empower' yourself to be an 'educated voter' lol when it comes to yourself. For instance my 'default mode' is to go into thoughts and energies of comparison, self-glorification, superiority, specialness and self-importance. But I know that my 'potential', as in simply 'what is best' lol but also sort of my 'best self' and who I know I am deep down sort of, is in fact entirely 'self-less'. To in fact have no 'self' but to be very much 'involved' with 'others' and the reality around me. To thus not even 'exist' at all as my 'self' IS 'other beings'. Living more 'externally' than 'internally'. And yet, somehow throughout my life I've ONLY been existing 'internally'.

And this is also the thing, that your default mode is like the complete opposite of your potential. So the more you 'give in' to the 'default', the further you're moving away from your potential, and the more difficult it'll become to move into your potential. But then that's just the way it's been designed. You didn't think realizing yourself would be 'easy', did you? lol

So you want to basically be able to 'tell' when you're clearly just existing 'by default', so it doesn't end up 'going under the radar'. So you don't end up 'slipping' into it, unnoticed. So you want to just get REAL familiar with your 'programming'. Or, I do anyways lol, cause I am just talking to myself mostly here. And I have definitely been noticing just how 'lenient' I have actually been. Sort of just letting things 'fly under the radar' and go 'unchecked'. Things I really should be directing a lot better. Because too many times I do find myself 'lost' within the mind because of the thoughts and energies I believed were 'harmless'. But then having to realize that I did also 'lose' whatever 'potential' I was at some point seeing for and of myself.

So realizing how important it is to clarify for myself exactly what my 'potential' is, so I can effectively 'make my choice' in those moments when I tend to 'lose myself' the most.




Friday, November 29, 2019

I've been here before...




This is a continuation of the previous post "Forcing yourself to Face what's Here"

Ever since starting this process, or 'decision', to face the things that I tend to avoid I have realized that if you want to really 'live' in awareness of the things that you've faced, it takes a lot of effort lol

I found that when you push yourself to really 'see' who you are and you go through the process of letting go and 'starting over', it kind of feels like a rebirth. Like you start afresh, with a new perspective, a new drive and a new awareness.

But, similar to when you were 'newly born' as a baby, there's also a tendency to sort of 'let things happen'. Like this point of, "OK I got here, now it's just coasting from here on out". It's a point of 'forgetfulness' in a way. Forgetting that actually, you've been here before. At this exact same point of being 'reborn', but then you just kind of 'allowed things to happen' and here you are again - having gone through another cycle of being programmed and conditioned into becoming something and someone that isn't who you really are.

Just because you got real and faced some things and are now 'here' doesn't mean shit. The real proof is going to be in whether or not you are going to stay 'here'. Will you make absolutely sure that the same shit doesn't just happen again, or will you go into forgetfulness?

The mind is extremely clever and cunning in its design. If you don't push yourself in every moment to 'stay real' and be honest with yourself, it is so easy to get lost again. Because, a part of you - a big part of you - WANTS to go into the mind. It WANTS to forget and be blissfully unaware. The mind just provides the platform for it. At the end of the day it's you who chooses to use that platform.