The Meaning of Purpose

 

 I've noticed that when it comes to ideas that I have where 'I'd like to' express something, like make a vlog or a blog and just do something that is in line with me expressing my care for life and the process I'm walking, there will very easily be 'discouragement' or rather thoughts come up that it's 'purposeless'. That I shouldn't bother, it's silly, it's stupid, just let it go and drop it and focus on more important things. 

That's lead me to have another look at the word 'purpose' and how I'm defining it, in terms of what is it that I'm actually deeming 'important', valuable and worthy of my time. Because clearly, some programming in my mind is telling me that the things I want to do that would stand in support of life are 'purposeless'. So there's a problem here...

 

 Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word purpose in the context of the mind as survival – where the question ‘what’s the purpose of this?’ must always be able to be answered in terms of how will it generate money, or a following, or produce something that’s considered a ‘value’ within the mind, such as money or fame or popularity or success of some sort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must require ‘proof’ that whatever I’m doing will in some way contribute to a future success in terms of money and survival – or that it must be nearly ‘set in stone’ that what I’m doing will have that eventual result of ‘success’ as defined in terms of money and/or fame – otherwise it’s simply not worth doing at all and is a ‘worthless pursuit’

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to find no ‘purpose’ and so no value or worth in things I do just for the sake of seeing that it may contribute to a better world, that it may be supportive in some way, where I am just expressing my ‘self’ as in my care for life and my care to contribute to a better world in whatever way possible, and where I don’t necessarily have a whole future business model all mapped out in terms of how I might become famous or make money from it or how I may even be able to be consistent in doing it – because all I have is that drive and that point of care to hopefully maybe do and contribute to something that matters

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that what matters isn’t scripted in any way, so it’s never going to be that ‘sure thing’ in terms of the mind’s definition of ‘money’ and ‘success’, and so to the mind it will never have ‘purpose’ – there will never be a ‘purpose’ or a value and worth in doing it and there’ll always be plenty of reasons for why you should just ‘give up’ and ‘not even bother’

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that as long as ‘purpose’ is defined by and up to the mind, I will never see a ‘purpose’ in anything I do that matters, in terms of things I do as a ‘self’-expression – and that I must be the directive principle of the word ‘purpose’, in terms of for myself deciding what truly has value and worth in this world and what doesn’t – and so not just accept those thoughts that come up in the mind of ‘there’s no purpose to this’ or ‘this is worthless and a waste of time’ just because it does not directly relate to ‘survival’ and ‘money’ and ‘success’ defined within survival and money

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to accept this preprogrammed definition of the word ‘purpose’, where the value or worth of something is defined by whether it’s able to contribute to ‘survival’ and ‘success’ as defined within the mind consciousness system where it’s defined within self-interest rather than what’s best or supportive for all – instead of being the directive principle of ‘purpose’ and aligning it with life as what’s best for all as who I really am and what I know to be what matters, where everything that contributes to creating a better world for all has value and worth, and the things that only consider self-interest do not have value or worth and so are ‘without purpose’

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that the consequences of living the word purpose as defined by the mind consciousness system in terms of only seeing value and worth in what’s going to contribute to my survival in this world is that I’m contributing to and creating a world and reality that does not honor life as self-expression in every moment – a world of competition and separation that disregards and neglects what’s actually here such as nature and animals, where no care is given to that which really matters, and so a world doomed to self-destruct

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word purpose within a positively charged energy that tells me that 'something HAS purpose' - instead of seeing and realizing and understanding that everything has a particular 'purpose' -- it's to just find out what that purpose is by investigating the consequences of my actions and having a look at what I'm actually contributing to and creating through my actions and behavior

i forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that this belief that there are certain things that are 'purposeful' and other things that are 'purposeless' just shows me that I have been brainwashed and programmed to be a robot who only does things they've been programmed to believe 'have purpose' without understanding the actual purpose as in the consequences and what I'm actually busy creating - and so without being the directive principle in terms of actually investigating the consequences of my actions as to what 'purpose' my actions are actually serving, as well as deciding what it is I actually want to be creating

Self-commitment

When and as I see myself thinking that there’s no purpose to something I’m doing just because I cannot prove to myself or show how it might contribute to any future ‘success’ as defined by the mind in terms of money/fame/survival, and that I ‘shouldn’t even bother doing it’ and ‘should just give it up’ – then I stop and I breathe, and I see and realize and understand that I am living the word purpose as defined in and as the mind and have been accepting and allowing the mind to be the directive principle of ‘purpose’

And I see, realize and understand that it’s how I’ve been taught and preprogrammed to live the word purpose – and that thus real purpose aligned with life as what’s best for all in oneness and equality is to investigate and look into the actual consequences of what I place value and worth in and which actions and behavior I deem valuable and worthy and which ones I don’t, to not just trust the thoughts that come up in the mind that something is ‘worthless’ and ‘I shouldn’t bother’ but to actually look into ‘what would this contribute to?’ and so to see where this action will take me and what I will end up creating through it

I see and realize and understand that the mind is programmed to automatically judge everything that’s aligned with life and that’s best for all as ‘purposeless’, and everything that contributes to self-interest as ‘purposeful’ – and that thus it’s up to me to investigate all things and be the directive principle of the word purpose in terms of self-honestly having a look at what actually contributes to creating a world that’s best for all and what actually only contributes to its inevitable destruction

As I see and realize and understand that oftentimes the mind will deem something ‘purposeless’ and ‘not worth doing’ while its those things that actually come from a place of innocence and self-expression and genuine care

I commit myself to live the word purpose  in terms of making sure that my actions and behavior is aligned with ultimately contributing to and creating a world that is best for all – supporting those behaviors and actions that are aligned with life and changing the ones that aren’t

Safe Haven: A Self-Creation

This is a continuation of my previous post "To Be Self-Conscious"

Ok so we’re looking at this again lol. There’s so much ‘resistance’ around keeping the focus on this word I’ve found. But, not even the ‘obvious’ resistance. You know where you get all lethargic or when you just know that you’re busy distracting yourself and you just DON’T WANT TO do the thing you’ve set about doing.

This resistance is more ‘insidious’ I suppose. It’s like a gradual waning of the interest in working with it, and then before I know it, my interests are elsewhere and the word has been forgotten. And so have the realizations and understandings of its importance and the importance and relevance of working with it.

And the reasons for that are a couple different ones. There’s just the belief that ‘there are more important things to focus on’. And yes fair enough, I mean when you’re walking your process, there’s always going to be points that come up to look into. Points that grab your attention for a moment and seem quite ‘relevant’ and ‘important’ when and as they come up, because it’s just what’s ‘here’. And so you work with what is ‘here’.

But I guess mostly the ‘resistance’ stems from the fact that me CHOOSING and DECIDING to take on this word and explore and figure out for myself what it means to live and be and become this word, is truly a point of SELF-creation and SELF-direction. It is something I stand alone in. Something I can’t follow others in or trust others in. Like, this is purely me deciding to do this. And so there are a lot of doubts and insecurities that sort of activate in the mind because of that, which is what makes me eventually ‘lose interest’ in pursuing this. And why one moment I will realize and understand the absolute importance that I keep my focus on creating and living this word, and why the next I’ll have ‘forgotten’ all about it.

Because there’s lots and lots of fears in the mind with regards to ‘self-creation’. Or rather with regards to doing or deciding anything for myself. Being self-directive. The mind is more geared towards just being a ‘follower’, a slave, someone who doesn’t decide things for themselves but who follows and takes instructions and just ‘does what everybody else is doing’.

And specifically walking it consistently would be an act of self-creation. Actually keeping the focus on it, and saying YES this is what I am creating! Cause deep down there is quite a bit of self-doubt actually. Where, even though yes I do sort of see how and why It would be supportive for me to live this word, when it comes to ACTUALLY ‘creating’ through being consistent, there’s a doubt that comes up that maybe I can’t really trust myself. Maybe I can’t really entirely trust my own assessment of what’s ‘best’ and of what to create. So yeah, maybe I should just let it go a bit and focus on other things.

Sort of a point of thinking ‘who am I to create anything?’ ‘Who am I to decide anything?’ ‘I don’t know anything and I have never known anything so who the hell am I to think that I know what is best?’ Even though lol, obviously a ‘safe haven’ is best. I mean, why wouldn’t it be? Wouldn’t it be truly ‘best for all’ if earth, if existence, was a ‘safe haven’? Yet somehow this ‘doubt’ point is making me give up on something that I can clearly see for myself is BEST. Something I do see is worth creating. Yet so much in me is still sort of giving the ‘benefit of the doubt’ to the mind. The mind saying ‘oh no all this other stuff is more important’. And sure, yes it’s also important to work with the day-to-day kind of points that come up, of course. BUT equally if not much more important to keep the eye on self-creation. Cause I mean I can ‘work with’ or ‘work through’ points till kingdom come, but at the end of the day I’m the one who needs to actually create that kingdom lol. So I do need to live that DECISION of ‘THIS is what I am CREATING!’ consistently, until I have created it.

Redefining NOTHINGNESS

 This is a continuation of my previous post "Living the word PURPOSE"

You know when Bernard was all like, “something, something, ‘nothingness’” and he was basically saying how at some point in your process you’ll arrive at a point of ‘nothingness’ and that’s where you’ll start creating yourself, or something along those lines?

I mean, I arrived at ‘a’ point of ‘nothingness’ lol but I don’t know if that’s what he meant as somehow I always imagined it to be more… glamorous lol. The ‘nothingness’ that I arrived at was more sort of a programming of like, essentially ‘what’s left’ when you strip away all of the programming of the mind. Which is this core experience that ‘I am nothing’, but ‘nothing’ more being defined as like ‘worthless’ and ‘empty’ and ‘without any value’. Where then the mind’s programming is like a looking for value to in a way almost ‘fill myself up’. And have ‘something’ where there is ‘nothing’.

So the word ‘nothing’ is a programming of the mind as perhaps the ‘blank slate’ which they refer to in psychology in terms of what you are when you’re born in this world. Just a ‘blank slate’ ready to be written on and filled with a whole bunch of shit. But mostly it’s the programming of perceiving your ‘deep inner self’, your who and what you are at your ‘core’, to be ‘inferior’ and of lesser value than this world you’ve been born into. Because, this world, is apparently EVERYTHING, while inside you, there is NOTHING. And EVERYTHING is apparently better than NOTHING.

So that ‘nothingness’ that Bernard was referring to, the way I see it, is more just another preprogramming that must be redefined. From ‘nothingness’ as having that negative energy charge where you just feel this emptiness and like a vast purposelessness and aimlessness, like it’s this vacuum that you’re being sucked into – to nothingness as a platform for self-creation.

And to redefine the word NOTHING, I actually had a look at the programming existent within the very letters of the word. Because there was just something about the experience and programming of this word within and as me that felt like somehow it wasn’t going to be as easy as just finding the definition of the word. It felt like I needed to go ‘deeper’, into the ‘core design’ of the very word.

So first I had a look at, how each individual letter resonates within me and what it triggers in terms of my mind. How each letter is in other words a sort of ‘symbol’ within the mind that represents a particular programming, where all these individual letters as symbols together then constitute the overall ‘programming’ in and of the word NOTHING. The sort of deeper points of acceptance and agreement of separation, as captured and represented within the symbolism of the letters.

And from the perspective of the mind, each letter does represent some type of separation. A way in which my ‘self’ is thwarted and compromised and separated from itself. But the thing is that you can also redefine each letter and place it in the context of life and then each letter can actually also represent a ‘solution’. A way in which my ‘self’ can exist in the context of self-support. And ultimately a way in which the word NOTHING can then stand as a platform of self-support.