To Transcend the Mind you have to Walk Through it

This is a continuation of my previous post "To be Responsible is to ACT"

Even when you don't know whether you're 'wrong' or 'right', you have to just 'trust yourself'. I've been going through a bit of 'darkness' lately, basically because I wasn't 'trusting myself'. I was existing in 'doubt' of 'who I am'. And 'doubt' is like this place of 'limbo' in between 'good' and 'evil'. Am I good, or am I evil?!

I mean basically, when you exist in 'doubt', then you CREATE 'good' and 'evil'. So I was seeing all this 'evil' existing inside of me, and I figured I owed it to myself - to my self-honesty - to embrace all of it. To 'walk through it' instead of just suppressing it, which is what had been doing all my life.

And it turns out that it was only by walking through the 'darkness' and embracing all the 'evil', that I learned to trust myself, only to then realize that none of it was actually 'real'. But, it was 'real enough' for me since I had actually created it as an 'alternate reality' within my mind. So, since I had created it, I had to face it.

So if you 'doubt' who you are, then guess what? You get to walk through the 'hell' you've created as you were 'hoping' to be deserving of 'heaven'. Because, there is no 'hope'. Hope is fear, and fear is hell. So if you 'hope', you're going to 'hell' lol.

Self-trust only 'emerged' for me when I went, "alright, I guess I'm evil then", and gave up on 'hope'. When I embraced my deepest, darkest fear. My self-created 'hell'. So unfortunately, I realized, you can't 'transcend' the mind without walking 'through' it. Can't realize that it isn't 'real' without facing all the things you've believed and accepted to be 'real'.