Sunday, May 3, 2020
FEAR of the Homeless
This is a continuation of my previous post "Redefining Nothingness"
You know, for the longest time I've had a very 'distorted' relationship when it comes to 'homeless people'. In terms of how I react and experience myself and then behave myself whenever someone who looks like they're probably homeless comes up to me to ask for some change. 'Distorted' as in it actually really shows me just the extent to which I have come to separate myself from life in this world, from another as myself.
And to an extent yes I was just living out a programming that I copied from my parents and family, but then that's also part of the problem -- how the 'family' construct creates and contributes to the 'famine' in this world as those who have nothing, through how these preprogrammed reactions to 'homeless people' are conditioned from parents to children.
Preprogrammed reactions like FEAR. Fear of ending up like this person. Fear that they might want to take something from me. Fear that they might take advantage of my 'kind and giving nature'. Fear that they might be a criminal. Fear that I cannot trust them. Fear that they might rob me, or worse.
And then with the fear, also come the BELIEFS. All the copied and accepted and allowed knowledge and information in relation to 'how you should deal with these situations' as well as to justify the fear. As your self-protection and -defense mechanisms to shield you from your fears and effectively 'ward off' and 'deflect' the 'harm' which your fear is projecting on this 'homeless person'.
Beliefs like 'they're just addicts' or 'they're just lazy'. 'You shouldn't give them anything because they'll just spend it on drugs' and 'they just don't want to work', or 'they just don't want to contribute to society'. Wherein you just create this 'they vs me' mentality of 'they, they, they'. And you forget or just don't see and realize and recognize them as actual living beings. Equal with yourself.
There's just zero recognition there of 'this is me in another life'. Not a shred of recognition of yourself in another, because the way that you perceive reality is filtered through all this separation as all these beliefs and reactions. You don't see direct. You don't see with your own actual eyes. You don't trust yourself to see. You just trust what your parents and society told you to see. And so you don't see YOU.
You don't see that if you were to for a moment let go of the beliefs and the reactions and just placed the person inside yourself, and placed yourself in their shoes, you might find yourself there. And you might actually start CARING. A care that is real because it's based on the realization of another as you. A realization that what another is going through, you are going through. Or, another version of you is going through. And all it takes is the willingness to trust yourself, with how YOU honestly see things.
I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to recognize myself in and as homeless people and to see them as me in another life -- by simply never having placed them inside of me to connect with who they actually are inside rather than just reacting to the image that I see with my eyes in a preprogrammed way, with beliefs and thoughts and perceptions and interpretations and reactions that I copied from my parents, wherein I've learned to simply not directly SEE reality and not SEE what's actually REAL, just like my parents never saw what was real -- but were also completely preprogrammed mind consciousness system robots who perceived reality through the eyes of BELIEFS as they also never trusted themselves to see reality as it actually is
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to see reality directly - and to place my trust on BELIEFS as knowledge and information copied from parents and family and society, with regards to for instance 'homeless people', and to therein not see reality as myself as I dont see reality through my actual eyes but more through the eyes of preprogramming in and as the mind consciousness system, and so also not recognize myself within another but more remain stuck within perceptions as knowledge and information in the mind, reducing others and so myself to just a thought and a reaction, and justifying manifested separation as the neglect and lack of CARE for others as me as manifested within and as a system of inequality - of the haves and the have nots
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed homelessness to exist in and as reality simply because I never recognized myself within another and never valued and cared for the life within another as equal with myself -- and so allowed another to starve and suffer in the position of the 'beggar', as I did not see or realize that this is me starving and suffering as this is me in another life
I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that if anything, those who are in that position of being 'homeless' and 'beggars', and are at the 'negative' polarity of the system - are actually closer to the 'real me' as life, as they simply overall are in fact those who simply lacked the skill or the willingness to deceive and harm and so were therefore not 'fit' to participate in a system that is based on this willingness to deceive and harm and most of all be deliberately ignorant -- and that it's in fact those who are in a position of wealth who have simply more so accepted deception and dishonesty and have more agreed to the participation in this system which forces you to either deceive and be deliberately ignorant and allow harm to be done onto another in your name or forces you into a position of extreme lack and neglect, wherein then those who are the MOST deceptive and the MOST willing to harm others and ignore the principle of oneness and equality will also be able to reach greater positions of power and money
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that in fact, if you are in a position of comfort and wealth in this world, and you are NOT actively working on creating a better world for ALL, wherein there exist no such thing as homelessness or famine or suffering - a world wherein ALL can have what you are enjoying in your life through money - and even if you ARE working towards a better world -- the fact that you were born into this particular position of greater wealth -- only shows your greater propensity and willingness to agree to deception and dishonesty and harm done to another in your name, for the sake of separation as self-interest -- and that in fact those that find themselves in positions in this world of greater suffering and lack and neglect, are those who actually are closer to what is REAL and simply could not get themselves to agree to the deception and harm this world system implies
when and as I come across a homeless person or just someone asking me for money that would trigger those preprogrammed fears and beliefs, then I stop and I breathe, and I see and realize and understand that these reactions just show me the extent to which I have separated myself from life as I cannot see or recognize myself in another and will only perceive another through the eyes of the mind as preprogrammed knowledge and information, which is all geared towards protecting my self-interest
as I see and realize and understand that I have accepted and agreed to a world of inequality, of haves and have nots and have agreed to the deception and harm this implies where I for instance agreed to 'turn a blind eye' when seeing the suffering of another, as in simply being blind to the fact that this person is me in another life and that what I am seeing is me suffering, and have agreed that 'I will be an obedient slave' and I will accept and live according to preprogramming without ever asking questions as long as it means that I can feel safe, and so will accept and allow another to be existing in a position of absolute lack of safety, as the epitome of my fear as that which I would not want for myself
I see and realize and understand that in fact that person who is suffering, who is in the position of 'homelessness' and being a 'beggar' is closer to the 'real me' as life - as they simply could not agree to the extent of deception and harm implied by this world and reality in order to 'thrive' in the system and so 'fell through the cracks' because they were simply 'too sensitive' - as it's those who are most willing to compromise themselves within deceiving and harming others, and most willing to choose to be ignorant and 'turn a blind eye' to the suffering existent in this world, who are able to achieve great wealth in this world, as it takes a certain 'lack of sensitivity' to be able to accept and embrace this world system the way that it is
I see and realize and understand that thus, to not recognize or see myself within the 'homeless person' or the 'beggar' just shows me my lack of sensitivity to life, that I cannot see another as myself -- and shows me the degree to which I have accepted and agreed to be willfully ignorant to the suffering existent in this world for the sake of self-interest and so the extent to which I was willing to accept and agree to deception and harm as what is implied within being able to 'live comfortably' and 'be wealthy' in this world - as I was even born into one of the wealthiest countries in this world and have not known suffering since I was born, and so very easily accepted the programming passed on to me by my parents and family and society, to ignore the suffering in the world, and exist in a bubble, and never ask questions -- all in the name of being able to hold on to my COMFORT
I see and realize and understand that a 'homeless person' and a 'beggar' is me in another life and that I just need to let go of the accepted preprogrammed knowledge and information as perceptions and interpretations and reactions in the mind to what I see with my eyes, in order to SEE that - and in order to actually SEE reality as it is, not how I've been told and programmed to see it
I commit myself to practice seeing others as myself by letting go of any preprogrammed knowledge and information like judgments, perceptions, ideas, beliefs and reactions based on what I see with my eyes, and rather placing the person that I see inside of me - dropping all images and so all separation, and actually stand as them in and as me, assisting and supporting myself to see who they really actually are on an internal level -- and to therein connect with them as me on that real level, and so connect with LIFE within oneness and equality
I commit myself to thus SEE DIRECT, and trust myself within how I see reality with my real actual eyes, rather than placing my trust in other people like parents and family and society who tried to tell me how I should perceive reality through knowledge and information like beliefs -- and so therein connect with life within and as this world as me