Tuesday, January 7, 2020

I am the Best



This is a continuation of my previous post "Are you Highly Sensitive?"

Something that I have found like a 'life-saver', as in something that's really made a difference in terms of getting out of my mind, is the realization that there is actually something to 'learn' from other people lol.

Cause honestly, deep down I always thought that I am truly 'all that'. That I'm 'the bees knees'. Cream of the crop. Ain't nobody better. And that I thus don't really need to get to know other people, cause, well if I'm the best then what do other people have to show me that I don't already know?

In a way I couldn't fathom that I am not 'the best', in terms of 'the most' self-honest, self-responsible, principled, disciplined, etcetera. I mean yes I know, the arrogance lol, but that is exactly what I thought of myself. But all it really was, was just a fear of 'failing', of being 'behind' and actually being 'the slow one'. I mean, clearly this logic is quite flawed as obviously in order to get anywhere, you need to 'learn'. You need to make yourself small and humble. Like, the opposite of what I was making myself. AND you need to actually engage with your reality, with other people, and get to know them, to find out what there is to learn in fact.

And even though it was a little 'painful' at first lol, when I finally did clue in on reality, it was quite a RELIEF. It's like I finally came down from that hot-air balloon I'd lifted myself up into, and found myself actually just 'here', together with everyone else that's just 'here'. I found that I am not 'alone'. And that 'we're all in this together'. That basically, none are free until all are free. And in that, there is no 'best' or 'better', but we do all have a responsibility to be a 'front-runner' in the ways we see we can be. Because, if we don't do it, then who will?


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