Excitement vs Enjoyment

This is a continuation of my previous post "So you want to be Special"

So I do get excited sometimes. And it's like a genuine excitement, about something 'real'.  Like getting excited about about people. Yes lol, I get excited about people. More specifically, I get excited about supporting people. And not just people. I get excited about knowing that I have a certain 'purpose' in existence. Or rather, that I am 'serving' a purpose. That I am actually building and supporting real 'connections', real communication and am assisting and supporting 'existence' to come through and 'flourish' within myself and others.

I mean, that's REAL excitement. Because it's not just about ME. It's not about my ego and it's not just a personal thing. It's about 'existence'. And I don't even care that it's not about 'me'. That's kind of how I know it's 'real' lol. But something I've also noticed is that there are already 'preprogrammed pathways' for that excitement to be channeled into. And, those pathways then fuel things that are actually the OPPOSITE of what the excitement was originally about.

For instance, my excitement about being a point of support and about connecting with others, will get channeled into thoughts about myself and my 'self-importance'. And so what started as a genuine expression of care and support, turns into ego as a desire to be special. And a genuine enjoyment within connecting with others, becomes a separation, disconnection and isolation. It's just the preprogrammed 'system' of thoughts that the excitement energy gets channeled into.

So does that then mean that you can't get excited about things, even if it's 'genuine'? Sort of, yes. Or rather its more about still remaining stable within the excitement, and so not allowing the excitement to sort of 'get away from you'. You still have to be 'here', stable, with both feet on the ground. So it has to be a 'grounded excitement'. The way that excitement energy is programmed however, IS to take you away from yourself. Where the energy sort of becomes 'more' than you and you 'lose' yourself in the experience. So I guess instead of it being an 'excitement', it needs to be just an 'enjoyment'. Like, just a recognition that "I enjoy this", rather than it being like an "Oh my Goooooood!! Eeeeeeeeeeek!!!" lol