This is a continuation of my previous post "My CV for Life"
In lieu of the latest Destonians chats, I’ve been working
with the word ‘Safe Haven’ as the word that I want to stand as and live for
myself, and my ‘support word’ to start changing points faster. It took me a
while to find that word lol but once I sort of allowed myself to sink into my
body and breath, it’s what came up and it just sat well within me. Even made me
tear up lol so I was like ‘alright this must be the word’.
Safe Haven because, so much of ‘me’ is just plain fear
actually. Where I mostly feel unsettled within myself and tend to overthink and
go into worries, insecurities, doubts and just a lot of inner conflict, all
from the starting point of fear, basically. So just never had a ‘safe haven’
within and as myself. Like a knowing that ‘I am here’ and I don’t need to
worry. And I will be fine, cause I’m ‘safe’ within myself, no matter what.
And I’ve been applying this word in relation to points
wherein I am not trusting myself. Which is a point I’ve kind of accepted is
almost impossible to change. The lack of self-trust, where I would rather turn
to something outside of myself to direct me and tell me what to do and how to
be and how I’m doing. Because, obviously if you don’t feel ‘safe’ within
yourself and you don’t have a ‘safe haven’, you also won’t be able to trust
yourself cause you feel like you won’t be there for you if you ‘fall’.
So every time I am seeing myself go into a point of wanting
to rather place my trust in something other than just myself, I’ve been
bringing up this word ‘Safe Haven’, as basically the point of knowing that ‘no
matter what happens, I am here. And so I can relax and don’t need to worry’. And
it’s been supporting me to ‘calm the waters’ within myself. To stop being so
frantic lol, and panicky, and being so afraid of ‘making mistakes’. Just to,
rather than getting all caught up in the fear that’s going on within me, place
my focus on just living this word Safe Haven within and for myself.
www.desteni.org
www.destonians.com
www.desteniiprocess.com
www.eqafe.com
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