Monday, March 9, 2020

Whatever you do, DON'T be Benevolent

This is a continuation of my previous post "No more Excuses".

It’s interesting how we actually PREFER limited and diminished versions of ourselves and others, than the actual BEST version. The version that is truly BENEVOLENT. Like Jesus was, basically. The version that does not participate in gossip, or backchat, or nasty thoughts and reactions like anger, spitefulness, resentment, judgment, blame.

In fact, our very ‘social interactions’ tend to be based on the acceptance of ourselves as ‘not benevolent’. The acceptance of our REACTIONS. Have a look at the things that we talk about, and the way that we talk and hold conversations. At our ‘small talk’. The things that we ‘relate to’ in each other. It’s all the things that actually make us ‘less’ than our best selves. All the ways in which we actually compromise ourselves.

I mean, we COULD just not participate in things like gossip, or judgment, or reactions, but can you imagine? Standing in a group of your friends or co-workers and choosing NOT to participate? Choosing NOT to do what everybody else is doing and saying ‘no, this isn’t me’, unapologetically? Not being prompted, influenced or stimulated to play or follow along, but to purely express yourself as who you know you really are.

It’s like there is an unwritten agreement that we will all just ‘follow the program’ and that no one must ever stand as what we’re actually missing out on. No one must ever show us what it is that we’re busy suppressing and neglecting as we’re ‘selling our soul’ to the idea of ‘fitting in’ and ‘survival’. Whatever you do, DON’T be benevolent.

Because, we all do know that it is our ‘best self’. But we’re too deep into that rabbit hole. At this point we don’t want to be reminded at what we left behind. Because we don’t believe that we could forgive ourselves for what we’ve become, and ‘return to innocence’. So let us just be diminished, and believe that this is who we truly are. And if you dare remind us, we will hate you for it. And we will remind you, of your place, with the rest of us.

It’s like we’ve put up sign posts all around. “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” We will tear you down, nail you to a cross, cast you out and annihilate you if you so much as think about not being a player in the game. If you dare ‘stand up’. It will be one against many. And we will show you, that you do not truly stand. That you are weak, and you will fall and give up, just like the rest of us.

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