This is a continuation of my previous post "Get on Top of your Shit"
Something I am really starting to appreciate, and recognize the 'power' of, is the statement 'get real'. Just the point of, 'stop bullshitting yourself already!' That 'frankness'. Being 'frank' and 'speaking in plain terms'. No creating 'euphemisms', no beating around the bush, no fear of 'hurting my feelings'. Just being direct and saying it as it is.
Cause I'm starting to realize that I can actually handle A LOT more than I always believed. I'm not actually as 'sensitive' as I always thought. In fact, I'm actually pretty thick skinned. And I used to identify as a 'highly sensitive person'. Only now I'm realizing how much I was bullshitting myself with that lol. And that, really, I thoroughly ENJOY telling myself to 'get real!' Because, there's just a 'realness' to it. Like, it just makes me feel more 'real', more substantial.
Cause, that 'sensitivity' was actually in a way me saying that "I can't handle reality". That "I can't handle facing what's really going on in this world, in myself". And I actually remember that I had a real aversion to anything that was basically just 'bullshit'. Like, telling yourself that you're 'highly sensitive'. Or being overly 'positive'. I mean it was obvious bullshit and I could tell when people were just bullshitting themselves with it.
But then at some point I just started doing the same thing! But there was always that 'aversion' inside myself. And the more I 'bullshat' myself, as I grew older, the more I just actually couldn't stand myself. Cause, deep down, I still actually knew what I was doing. I remember the moment when I told myself I must be 'highly sensitive', as like a 'diagnosis', and the absolute loathing I felt with myself lol. Like I was turning myself over in my grave. Like thinking, "wow Kim, you're really taking the cake with this one".
Cause really, deep down I ALWAYS know what I'm doing. And I can tell when something is just bullshit that I'm telling myself. When I'm just participating in energy and personality programs, and not just simply being 'me'. And at this point obviously, at over 30 years old, the bullshit is EXTENSIVE lol. But that's why this point of 'getting real' has been such a breath of fresh air, and has been highly effective of just breaking all the bullshit down and getting back to 'me'.
Like, in the face of those things I've always believed myself to be 'too sensitive' for. In the face of fear, to just be like "come on, get real. You know this is not who you are". "You know you are not helpless. You know you can handle this, whatever it is. All this fear is just you bullshitting yourself about who you are. Pretending that you are 'less' than you really are. that you are this helpless victim when in fact, you are life itself. Get a grip!"
