You are a Threat to Me

This is a continuation of my previous post "Life is 'all of us'"

Social personalities. It’s the acceptance of manipulation and deception. Acceptance of the point of ‘you don’t see the real me, because you are lost in the mind. And I don’t see the real you because I am equally lost in the mind. And instead of assisting and supporting each other to be here together and see each other, we’ll play games with each other and take advantage of one another’s gullibility’.

With a ‘social personality’, you just need to look at ‘what is being manipulated here?’ Which ‘strings’ are being pulled and why? What is it that the person actually ‘wants’ and is thus using a ‘social personality’ to ‘get’. Cause if you don’t want to be manipulated, you need to start with looking at yourself. What are you using a social personality for? What is it that you’re ‘manipulating’ for?

I’ve realized that I’ve developed a ‘social personality’ to sort of keep people at a distance and in a way ‘get them off my back’ and not ‘bother’ me too much, and essentially avoid ‘conflict’,  while also ‘safeguarding’ and ‘getting’ the things I want. Cause my experience when I was younger was that people seemed to be ‘on my case’ about how I express myself or about how I live. And that I would, as a result, sometimes lose things I valued. And I experienced people to be sort of a ‘threat’ and as ‘bothersome’ to me because of that. So my ‘social manipulation’ is more from the starting point of, ‘I’m going to give you what you want and play along with your personalities so you’ll leave me alone and leave me in peace’.

When it comes to ‘manipulation’, there isn’t anything ‘wrong’ with it per se. In a world where nothing is what it seems and things are the very manifestation of deception and separation, you kind of ‘have to’ manipulate. As in, ‘play the game’. Be in it but not of it. But you do it with awareness and from the starting point of creating a world that is best. So kind of manipulating to assist and support. When it comes to ‘social personalities’ developed in childhood, it’s not what’s ‘best’. It’ll more just ‘add’ to the separation. Because it is that ‘acceptance’ that this is just ‘how things are’. An acceptance that we must use and abuse each other for self-interest. And an acceptance of the FEAR we have of each other and that’s caused us to lie and deceive and manipulate.

 

Live by Principles so you can be Trusted

This is a continuation of my previous post "Checking in with the Real You"

The thing, or the 'problem', with the positive stuff, is mostly that you lose your sense of responsibility. It just takes you away from 'here'. You lose your 'footing' as you start 'floating' in a way on that 'vibe' of whatever energy you're 'vibrating' on.

Almost, and actually very much lol, as though you're starting to exist on a different plane. Or an alternate existence. An existence where all that 'exists' is the energy you chose to seep into. And, it's a 'seeping', because it just happens so gradually. Not like you cross a clear and obvious line from one dimension or reality to the next. It's more like a 'trickle'. Slowly but surely your awareness, and 'you' pretty much, starts seeping into this 'pocket', or 'bubble' of energy - lured in by the call of whatever desire you're still suppressing.

You may think you're being self honest, but you're not lol

So then, how do you measure self-honesty? How do you make sure that you remain self-honest in every moment? That you stay 'here', present, responsible. To basically avoid having to at some point realize that you got lost in an alternate dimension and then have to face the consequences of not having stood in responsibility for all the ripple effects of every action in every moment. Cause, that's tough. To have to stand at that point of consequence.

The only way you measure anything really, which is in the physical. You need to have principles in place. Principles to live by. If you can live by those principles, then you know you're self-honest. Without principles, there's no responsibility for anything. And you'll be directed, influenced and defined by desires.

Principles is what 'makes the world go round'. Literally lol. Every 'law' nature and the physical reality follows is a principle. Because, it is that which is 'lived by'. That which is never compromised. That which can be trusted. It's why human beings cannot be trusted. Because they don't live by principles.

The one principle I abandoned, where I created a lot of 'tough to face'-consequences for myself, was to walk with the group. Where I started thinking that 'I'm better off alone'. And started trusting more in 'myself' than in 'the group'. That may sound strange, but yes actually the group does 'know better'. And if you find yourself veering off 'on your own' - that's ego my friend. It takes a certain humbleness to walk with a group. And that humbleness is what I abandoned.

The True Test is the Positive

This is a continuation of my previous post "Why don't you just Change?"

The same goes for the 'internal change'. As long as you're still digging around for 'why' you're like this or that or 'why' you're not yet like this or that, you're essentially looking for excuses to not simply change.

Because, change is something you DON'T WANT lol So, yeah, you're GOING to try and find excuses to not go there. Your mind's going to bring out the big guns. Cause, what does change REALLY mean?

Change means that you have to give up on, not just the things that 'don't feel nice', but actually mostly the things that do. And the only reason why the 'unpleasant' things exist is because there are the 'pleasant' things that you just don't want to give up. If you really wanted to change, you'd be changed already.

The real problems is the desires. And not even the obvious ones. I'm talking about the desires that have become 'part of you'. That's created just a constant 'feeling' experience which you believe is just 'you'. The desires which you don't even recognize as desires. I'm talking about the just 'general' experience of yourself in any given moment.

I mean it's scary stuff, actually. In a way it's 'easy' to give up on and change the negative stuff. It's the positive that you gotta watch out for. That's the 'real' stuff. The stuff you don't actually want to let go of. The stuff that's really going to test you.

ARE you going to actually let go of the things you don't WANT to let go of? Cause I mean, we're talking about addictions you've spent your whole life developing here. Addiction to energy. To feeling energy, however subtle. And, it's subtle!

It takes some radical self-honesty to face the positive in a way where you truly transcend it. Not only that but, your 'reflex' of going into these positive experiences is so 'natural' and 'automatic', that you have to constantly and continuously stop yourself and 'slap yourself in the face' so to speak. Splash some cold water in your face so you 'stay sober' and remain 'here'.

This is the REAL process. Where you have to walk through the eye of the needle. And prove to yourself, life and existence that you can truly give up on the mind.

Are you Changing on a Physical Level?

This is a continuation of my previous post "Directed, Influenced and Defined by Desires"

Transcending desires really is just a matter of changing habits. To stop yourself from doing those things which you know are coming from a place of 'addiction'. An addiction to a feeling. So it's to just identify when and where and how you go into behaviors that are motivated by a desire for something. And then, like you are a common addict lol, you need to 'cut yourself off'.

When it comes to those desires, I have actually mostly been focusing on the 'internal stuff' - the thoughts and the reactions that come up in my mind. I've been trying to stop that. But actually now I'm realizing that if I don't change the behavioral patterns then I'm not changing anything at all. If anything I'm actually keeping the fact that I'm not actually changing a secret from myself.

Because, in my mind I'm changing! Or at least that's what it looks like. Actually more often than not what happens is that I end up just suppressing the thoughts and reactions so it 'looks like' I am changing. The change that truly matters is in my physical actions.

The physical is where you 'prove' who you are. It's where real self-honesty exists. You can do what you want in your mind. Thinking and believing that 'you've changed' on the inside. But if you're not changing on a physical level then you're just bullshitting yourself. And, the mind happens to be particularly good at that.

That's why focusing more on physical change is always key, to make sure that you're being self-honest. That the change is real. I've just never really done that lol. I've more hidden myself away in the mind. Hiding my own awareness from me, just so that I could continue participating in certain desires while deluding myself that "I'm changing".

I mean at the end of the day the only one you're fooling is yourself. And it's only so long that you can play that game with yourself before you realize you've just been wasting all this time running in circles cause you basically refused to give up on certain desires. I mean, why not just be direct and honest with yourself about who you are and what you're doing. Do you want to give up on these desires, yes or no? Why make it more difficult for yourself by saying 'yeah I want to change' when in reality you're not actually doing what it takes to in fact change?

To Earn Your Freedom

This is a continuation from my previous post "There's Something Wrong Here..."

Laziness is the suppressed version of self-judgment. So - find the self-judgment, set yourself free from the judgment itself and then you won't need laziness to hide in. Remember, that - the desire that forced you into judgment, and eventual laziness is still your master. Don't judge your master - serve your master, until you are equal to your master and then decide to direct you.

Bernard Poolman

"To admit to yourself that there is a master you are serving." It's to bring the desires you've been holding on to, hiding and suppressing, 'here'. Be real about the fact that, yes, as long as 'who and how you are' is influenced and directed by these desires, you are a slave to it. So, you must stand in that self-honesty. Stand as the slave that you are and have allowed yourself to become.

As how things are right now, you are in the service of these desires. That's all that you are. And if you ever want to be any 'more' than that, you're going to have to start from 'where you're at'. How does a slave break free from its master? By being arrogant and thinking that he's better than a slave? Fat chance. That will just get you in trouble!

It's by keeping your head down, 'playing the system', and 'earning' your freedom. And in the meantime, yes, joining movements and putting in effort to - in a peaceful way - change 'slavery' altogether. Changing the greater system that's creating this 'slave-master' relationship.

But when it comes to changing that direct slave/master relationship, there has to be a humbleness. An 'accepting your place'. As a slave, you don't have any power to just stand up and say "fuck this, I'm outta here!" And, the more you fight, resist and struggle, the more you're going to be shown your place! So, you have to humble yourself 'before your master'. And say, "I will work hard and do what it takes to earn my freedom!"

Because, freedom is something you must be 'granted'. It's not something you can just take. When you try to 'take' it, there's going to be war. And in a way doing it that way is more like a laziness. You just don't want to put the work and effort in. You'll rather just react, act out, throw a tantrum, and expect reality to shape itself according to your wants and needs. With a lot of unnecessary suffering and consequences as a result.

Real freedom is something that you've worked hard for. Something you know you 'deserve' and have 'earned', because of the work that you've put in. Where you've walked a process to prove that you stand equal to your 'master' and that you have now mastered yourself.